I was sitting there waiting for my parents to come home, my uncle was watching me like he did before. This time was different, I felt it in me. Deep in me, and I didn't like that feeling. I was so nervous, what was going to happen? Was somebody going to brake into my house? Was somebody going to kidnap me? No, it was the most unexpected thing that has ever happened. No one would have ever thought, not even me...
(A couple days earlier)
My uncle just got out of Juvy, he was in there for possession of narcotics. He was only 15 years old, ten years older than me. As I'm sure, you figured out that I am 5 years old. Well my mother really trusted him I guess, I don't know why but she did I would never let someone who went to jail for drugs ever babysit my child, especially at five, but NOONE said my mother was the smartest. After all, she was a crack addict. My father, who was married to another person, a much better person, was living in Lincoln Park. As for I, I lived with my mother and her abusive boyfriend in New Boston. My brother, whom was just 18 was already out and living on his own. My uncle, Blane, was sitting in the kitchen doing something with my mom. I couldn't tell what it was but now that I'm older, I think that they were braking up pills. Xanax to be specific. I was playing with my Polly pockets on my bedroom floor (The kitchen was directly across the hall from my room and the hallway was just about big enough for one person to walk in.) I could see just about everything if I was standing up, but I didn't because I already knew something bad was happening. To this day I can't take a pill with out crinching. Knowing that your mother is a low life from age five is honestly one of the most horrid things you could ever imagine. She was getting ready to leave for "work" which I knew she was a pro statute prostatute. At least she didn't leave me with Craig, he's this big ass black guy who drink bear and smokes crack and hits my mom around all day. Now that I think about it, was he her pimp? Was that the reason he was never around? He was handle I guess his other "bitches". I thought about it that way before. Why did she have To go down that path? I promised myself I never would have went down that road, if only I stuck with that, today was the first day he babysat me. He was really fun and nice and I had a really good time. We played card, he played with my Polly pockets with me, and we played on the computer. He showed me pictures on the computer and said I would look like that one day and that he couldn't wait because we would be best friends (sadly I was young and didn't realize that it was of naked women and that he meant he couldn't wait for me to develops so we could fuck). It was nine o'clock and that meant bath time. Zachariah started my bath and I got in, he was sitting on the toilet staring at me. I was used to it because my mom would watch me while I was in the bath. She never looked at me like that though, I was starting to get kind of nervous. He started to unbutton his pants and then my moms boyfriend came home. He hurriedly got up and out, Tyrone came in and ask we're Zach was and I said I didn't know. He told me to get dressed and get to bed, so I did. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning, my mother was passed out face down on the floor. I got up and made a bowl of cereal because I was really hungry, my mother didn't wake up until five o'clock. She asked what I did all day and I told her I just watched cartoons, she tasked me if I was hungry, which I was, and made some popcorn. We watched a movie and ate popcorn for the rest of the night. The next day Zach was babysitting me again, my mom left like usual and I did my daily thing, watched cartoons and played with dolls. It was bath time and he did the same thing he did the previous day, but this time no one came home to stop. He told me to get out and well watch tv. I was sitting there waiting for my parents to come home, my uncle was watching me like he did before. Zach started to take his pants off and told me to take my cloths off. I asked him why and he just told me to do it now! I did and he was touching himself. He told me to lay down and go to sleep, I laid down but I didn't go to sleep. I was too scared to, he touched me and it felt weird, like something that wasn't supposed to happen. He put his finger in me and it hurt, he started to move it around. I was so scared and confused. I told him to stop but he never did, he just started to keep going and I was in tears. He told me to shit the fuck up and slapped me. After what felt like two hours, he finally quit. I was in so much pain and I was bleeding a little bit. He told me to never tell anybody because this is my fault this happened, that I'm a little whore and I will never be loved. I was crying ever harder now, I believed every word he said. I was only five years old, I didn't know what was actually happening. I wish I did though, I really do wish I did. Everyday from then on the same thing happened, I finally got to the point were I had no feeling and I want just sit there in silence. Occasionally a tear would run down the side of my face. It was December 15th, a day before my birthday, Zach came over and brought me a present. He told me to never tell anybody, I never have until this very day. I opened it and I had no idea what it was, he told me it was a grown up you and that I should start playing with it. Zach told me to take my pants off and I already knew what was going to happen. He told me to spread my legs and relax, he slowly pushed it in me and it hurt more than the first time he touched me. I started to cry but this time my mom was home, she was shit faced laying on the floor again. He slapped me and told me to shit up or he'll shut me up. I couldn't stop. The pain was to invariable. He pulled his pants down and stuck his penis in my mouth. He told me if I bite down he'll kill me. So I just sat there with blood flowing out of me and tears running down my face. My birthday passed and again, everyday of every week he would do this. The bleeding and the tears stopped. It was now my eighth birthday and he finally did what I knew he would do. I knew everything that was going on, and yet I still never told anybody. I regret that the most. I was in my room watching T.V. And he came in. Zachariah told me that I'm big enough to play now, I knew what he meant. I didn't force it because I knew that I wouldn't win. He pulled his pants down and mine as well. He told me to open my mouth and song did. He thrusted in me over and over again. He told me that I was ready and that it's time. At least he was gentle, it hurt, it hurt really bad. But this time, there was no blood. I laid there with tears running down my face. The thing that fucked with me the most is that he looked at me the entire time. Zach had no problem with it. How could someone do that? It was finally over! A week after that, I was in school I got up with a seet full of blood. I was terrified because I didn't understand what was happening. My teacher explained to me that it happens when a girl hits puberty. She told me it was called a period and that there was nothing wrong with it. My teacher also told me that girls start it at driftnet ages, she told me that my body was just mature for my age. I came home and my mom was sitting in the couch crying, I asked her what was wrong and she told me it was Zach. I was hoping she found out got rid if him but that wasn't the case. He got out in jail. I haven't been so relived in my life. I moved with my dad because my mom couldn't handle me by her self. I went a year before I saw her again. I was now ten years old. She came and picked me up from my dads and she told me she had a surprise. We got home and Zach was sitting on the couch. My heart dropped to my stomach and I practically passed out. She told me that she had to go out for a little hit and Zach would babysit me. I didn't say anything, I just went to my room and laid there. Zachariah came in and started to rub my back, I already knew what was happening. He started it all over again. Some time passed and I was finally twelve years old. I had an annual physical and they found something in me. It was a baby. I was pregnant, my dad started to flip out and asked me questions. I told him everything. We were sitting I the doctors office crying. The doctor called the police and I ends back to day one. It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. Zach went to jail and my mother was in an insane asylum. I was the happiest I have ever been, I had an abortion and everything was fine for then on.
My names Sara and this is a true story about my childhood. I'm 17 now and I got news a few months back that he got out of jail and when I was in 8th grade my mother passed away from breast cancer. I have yet to have any contact with Zachariah and I'm just waiting for the day to come. I'll be ready for it with a gun in one hand and my father on the other.
The end...
