Bad Things

18. Hold On

I watch your troubled eyes as you rest,
And I fall in love with every breath.
Wonder if those eyes are really shut,
And am I the one you're dreaming of?

'Cause underneath the darkness
There's a light that's trying so hard to be seen.
And I know this 'cause I've noticed
A little bit shining through the seams.

And if this is what it takes,
Then let me be the one to bear the pain.
Ooh if this is what it takes
I'll break down these walls that are in our way,
If this is what it takes.  

- Shawn Mendes.

____________________________________________

"Are you two friends of Karla's?"

Oh, God.

Camila stood, frozen, in a diner full of people, but feeling completely and entirely alone. This couldn't be happening; she must have been having a dream, a nightmare, really. She wasn't here, in this public place, with her mother at her side and her forbidden boyfriend looking up at her, his eyes begging the same question as her: How am I supposed to pretend I don't know you?

And the question just about did her in, because she couldn't look at him and pretend she didn't know him. She was sure the lie would be more than obvious by the shallowness of her breath, the burning in her cheeks, the way her body instinctually leaned toward him. Maybe her mother wouldn't even have to see any of those things; maybe she could feel in the air just how well her daughter knew this boy.

Camila's entire being remembered how Shawn had held her just a couple of hours before, how he'd touched her, the things he'd said as he did. Private things, beautiful things, sexy things. She recalled the way his breath warmed her neck when he'd whispered his wants in her ear, the vibrations of his later pleas as they were murmured and groaned into her skin, and how his hands had gripped her so tight, fingers digging into her flesh and possessing her body the way he already did her heart.

An unintentional choked gasp came from her throat, and her mother peered over at her.

"Karla? Are you all right?"

She faked a cough and banged her fist on her chest in a lame attempt to distract her mother from the real source of her obvious distress. "Yeah, I just ... uh, had a tickle ... in my throat."

"You sure?" Her mother looked at her doubtfully and did the most embarrassing thing ever: she pressed the back of her hand to Camila's cheek and then her forehead. "You look flushed. Are feeling okay?"

Now it was Shawn's turn to fake-cough as he tried to hide his own discomfort. As soon as Camila's mother looked away, Camila glared at Shawn, and though his face remained passive, she could tell by his eyes that he knew. He knew what her flush meant, knew the difference between when she was embarrassed and when she was ... other.

Thankfully, the tension was broken when Alex stood, leaned across the table, and extended his hand to Camila's mother. "Actually, I know Camila through her friend Hailee. I'm Alex."