Tricks & Challenges

Rotting Away

It was 2:39 am on a Sunday when all my emotions started to hit me. Yet, I felt that I had no emotions, unless they were just wearing away. Like an apple that was rotting.
I tried to fall asleep a few hours ago but my head was running through all of my triggering thoughts/emotions and I could not stop tossing & turning. So, like normal, I decided to turn on my tiny light and hit up my Spotify playlists while laying down on my bedroom floor. As I laid there listing to my "God", Marilyn Manson, I started to evaluate my past,present and future. I started wondering what I did wrong in the past & what I should do now in the present to make my future the best it can be while remembering what I learned in the past. My head was lost in my own fog and I was trying to find some way to wiggle my way out through it all.
After several hours of thinking, I finally came to a conclusion & it's basically all anyone could ever do in life. And that was to completely live day by day. You can not live your life worrying about every single thing in your life. You can try but it will eventually drive you insane. If you take things slowly (baby steps) you do not worry yourself to death as much.
So, as I finally got ahold of my so called "emotions", I felt slightly better about my life in general.
It's was now 4:23 am, and I finally try to get some sleep, until I heard something. It's sounded weak yet strong but with frailty at the same time. My eyes were still closed but the sound was getting somewhat louder. It then had gotten loud enough for me to finally make out what the voice was saying...