Childhood Memories

Part 4

(I spotted a dandelion on the ground, it was a flower I was going to use to tell Donavan how I feel, but that ended great) I walked up to his house knocking on his door, the flower in my pocket, my hand clutching the stem. I was so nervous I felt like a balloon about to burst. Donavan answered the door, he had that "mom did it again grin on" when he had been forced to do something he didn't like "hey Alex, what's up?" I was hoping I was wrong about the meaning of the smile, "is this one of those times were your mom...?" I let my sentence trail off, my heart was beat from being shattered. He looked sympathetic "yeah, she decided 'this is the one! It must be' honestly I don't know anymore."

That's what did it, his mom had forced another relationship on him, and it got in the way of my feelings. "Oh, I see" I said, they were the only words I could get out before my throat tightens to the point were I can't speak without a quiver, I wouldn't do that to Donavan, not now. My heart was shattered, no far beyond that probably dust by now but I stood up straight, and looked at Donavan "good luck with this one" the pain was apparent in my voice. Donavan's eyes flashed an emotion that I knew, guilt and regret. "Alex wait"

I didn't want to hear what he had to say, I ran off without looking back, tears streaming down my face, how could I have been so stupid? Really thinking that I would have a chance? Not with his mom, not with her forcing him into stupid shit, relationships, that's something you should have the freedom to choose, no matter who it is. I took the flower from my pocket, it was mangled from my hand tears started to slow a bit.

I went home, walking I noticed my mom in the kitchen, "hey Hun what's up?" She asked me I sighed "something, I don't want to talk about it right now ok?" She nodded and went back to what she was doing. I walked up to my room past my brothers old room he had moved out about a year ago, I miss him sometimes. Thinking of that caused a bit more tears, I hurried to my room, and shut the door, I flopped on my bed and covered my face with my hands. The salty tears staining the pillow and blankets.

(I had wished at that time to have never fell for him, sometimes I do that now but the good outweighs the bad by tons, for that I am grateful)