6 Days
My mind is blank
I cannot think straight
Thoughtless is all I-
What did I do wrong?
How, where, when
Did I go wrong?
Maybe I should end it
Right now
No further
She said it herself
She's not my type
I'm only a sweetheart
And she's pressured by her friends not to end this
And I just can't see her like this
In distress over me
And I was pressured
Into it into the first place
Because I'm indecisive
Not assertive, a pleaser
I did this for others and
Not for myself
But she's here
And I'm here
And if I said what I meant
"I love you" to her
Then shouldn't I labor
Like the song
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end
But did I really feel love?
Or infatuation?
She won't talk to me
Because I didn't talk to her
Time off to think about us
And I'm writing fucking poems
Because that's all I know
How to feel
And how I show
Emotion
Did she keep mine
Does she still have mine?
If she does then maybe just maybe
She still cares
About us
Or does she do this only to please others
Because she isn't assertive
And she's a pleaser
Just like me
One month in and
The honeymoon is over
I just wish I knew the answers
But I don't, and this is hard
She wants something from me
And she wants me to get something from her
She wants an answer in 6 days
But I don't know what I want.
What is better than sharing our lives?
What is better than to care for each other?
What is better than making memories?
What is better then spending time with her?
What is better than going out to eat, even if I pay for it?
What is better than having someone to laugh with
To cry with
To hug with
To kiss with
To heal with
To share with
To drive with
To show with
To spend with
To dine with
To hold with
To whisper secrets with
To jam out with
To sit in silence with
To help with
What is better?
What more do I need?
If sex and other physical arousals is what I require
Than what am I?
A monster, trash, garbage, scum, parasite, vampire, destructive, awful, evil, nothing.
Nothing but what I pledge never to become
6 days more
I just hope this is the answer she accepts
