Humor of the Damned

The letter that gave me life and a cursed knife.

After yelling about something as stupid as the name on the letter I opened it and started to read...and it starts with...my name?!

'Dear Aki,
I know what you are, that in that home you roam undead, wanting a life back and that I can provide!...

At this point I thought it was crazy...how does anyone know I'm here or my name?! But I go back to reading.

'In the box there is a...antidote to let's say cure your death but with BIG effects there is also a knife and lucky you out of 500 you are one of the five to get a cursed weapon...open the letter with the bottle now.'

"This is a waste of paper and trees, I wonder what this'll say..." I roll my eyes and chuckle, "I swear if there is another note after this I'm going to scream." I pull out the next note  which was attached with a bottle.

'In this bottle provides a cure to your undead issue, but not a complete cure. You'll still have whatever ability or abilities, example if you're a ghost you can still go through objects but now not people as well or if you're a zombie you might still lose your limbs and will still smell like rotting flesh. But as you know all humans call anything they dont understand since we're dead to them...get it...undead...never mind that was lame...'

Of course my dumb self is laughing cause I've thought the same pun before, "This note is punny..." I cringed at what I said but laughed a bit, mostly cause of how lame it was and went back to reading.

'...but as we both know you are an actual undead, but to be less creepy all I know is you're a ghoul and one of the blood thirsty types at that. With you once you drink it you'll still have your abilities...including your bloodlust and dont say you dont have it cause the death rate in that city you're by is pretty big for a rich population. Back to the bottle though, once you drink it you're bound to a deal of bloodshed and fun! If you're into killing but if hiding is your thing that's fine too, not as much fun to watch but I'm not one to judge...oh and if you dont go where the next note asks then you'll be hunted down and brutally killed. Please read the next note in the box with the knife. One more thing, you'll be able to feel pain again...haaave fuuun!'

"Oooooooh boy more bloody notes, my favorite." As I say pulling out the knife. It was the size of a big kitchen knife but had cherry blossom trees engraved on the blade and from the feel it didn't feel normal. I then began to read the note.

'Dear Aki,
Please note that once you grab this blade you're bound to a curse which I shall not say and if you didnt have voices in your head you will now, its one of the five weapons of the cursed priests odd since only one was a priest but the others were priestess, but dont mind that...all that there is left to say is keep the weapon as a gift whether you drink the cure or not and if you do drink it, I wish you the best of luck since you'll be going against five hundred other people.
- With regards,
Chairman Dueblane
PS the coordinates for your start point are on the back.'

I turn over the note and just shake my head, "Well at this point I have nothing to lose..." With that I down the bottle and get ready to walk out the door, as well as grabbing the knife. I walk outside and look back at my old, worn down, pile of rubble I call a home, "...I'll for once miss this place, but if I come back it'll be to soon."
End of chapter 2

(Sorry for taking so long, I was sick and was also figuring out how I plan to head the story, and tbh still am sick as well as adding the fact of summer school but I'll still be doing these on a regular basis as was noted before. I hope you enjoy ^-^.)