On The Run

Unexpected Emotions

Zoey's POV

I woke up startled at the sound of my alarm. My heart was hammering in my chest.

Damn it! I need to stop waking up like this.

I breathed out, calming my heart down. I've been really jumpy lately.
After calming down, I walked out of my room and saw that Leo was already up. I heard noises downstairs. Learning from my last experience I stayed calm and assumed it was Leo.

I grabbed a towel and a bathrobe from the wardrobe and headed down for a shower.

Walking down, I saw Leo as I passed the kitchen. I stopped in front of it. Last time I saw him was when I asked him to sleep upstairs. I felt kinda stupid for asking him that now. It sounded weak.

I can't afford to trust him.

But in front of him I ease up automatically. He has this strange aura emanating from him....it gets to you and relaxes you. His laid back attitude and comforting eyes make me feel safe.

Safe.

All of a sudden reality snapped back in. What is wrong with me? Safe? That word is like a dream to me now. Leo doesn't even know me. It is extremely foolish of me to think that he can keep me safe.

Even my dad couldn't keep me safe.

The thought drowned down my already messy spirits.

"Hey,  you're up."

I looked at Leo. He gave me a huge toothy smile. I smiled back. I felt my sadness creep back to the far corner of my mind.

His cheerfulness forced me in being less sad. It was infectious. You cannot mop around all day if the person is constantly being cheerful, you fall in the trap of his high spirits sooner or later.

"Freshen up fast. I made pancakes."

I frowned at him.

"I thought you said you can't cook."

He smiled at me. Then gave a wierd look.

"Well, you're gonna be around for a while so I figured why not start now. This IS my first attempt, so be warned that they're gonna taste like shit...probably."

He shrugged his shoulders. I felt a laugh bubble inside me.

"Wow.. That's a first."

I looked at him curious at his words.

"What's a first?"

He gave another grin.

"That's the first time I've seen you smile. I didn't know you smiled."

I furrowed my brows. Smile? Hell, even I have forgotten the last time I smiled. It seems like a distant dream...it seems surreal. Smiling...being happy...being with dad...being daddy's girl...being in high school...having silly friends...having crushes...getting into trouble...hanging out by the beach...stuttering while talking to hot guys...besties...being stupid and reckless...being a kid...being normal. I don't know what those emotions are anymore. I know that I'll never be that teenage girl who was carefree and cheerful. That girl died four months ago and four months is a long...long time.

"Z...are you ok?"

This time I could feel his hand on my shoulder. I could see him move closer to see my face through my tear blurred eyes. I could feel the warmness travel from my eyes down my cheek. My breath hitched in my throat which was paining from holding back sobs.

No. No. No. I can't break down in front of a complete stranger. I can't.

Apart from my subconscious, I heard another voice speaking to me. It was Leo.

"Let it out, Z. Let it all out."

His voice was sad. He was pitying me. I hated that. I don't need pity. I don't need support. I blinked repeatedly clearing my vision.

"I'm gonna take a shower."

I said in a cracked voice.

Leo immediately released his hold from my shoulder. If I stayed there any longer, I'll embarrass myself even more.

I walked determinedly away from Leo and towards the washroom. I could feel him standing behind me. Once again, my eyes blurred as I reached the washroom.
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Leo's POV

I watched as she walked away. I was just trying to make her happy but instead I made her cry. Something was seriously wrong with me. I felt pain when I saw that my words had made her cry. I made her cry. Why did I try to make her happy in the first place?

Emotions...unexpected emotions filled me. I was getting emotionally involved. She didn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this. She reminded me of my 18 year old self. Nobody gave a shit if I lived or died, not then and not now. She was alone...stranded...abandoned to face a dark world and I knew how that felt. She tries to be strong, rational and brave, but she's still vulnerable. She needs support, even though she'll never admit it; even to herself. I wouldn't have either, in fact I didn't.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Why do I care for her so much?

Fuck.

I can't leave her alone. I can't abandon her like everyone else. I'll not let her be turned into another me. I'll do my job. I'll protect her.

This is going to cost me.

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