I met Madison at a hotel while I was performing and we hit it off. When I shook his hand I felt a shock. Right then I knew there was something. He happened to be leaving that day for his new tour and I wouldn't see him for a while. A few months later he texted me saying he was going to be away a little longer but that he had a surprise waiting for me. He told me that down the road there was a hill in the park and to go there at 7:00. I got there and there was a big willow tree at the very top and it was all lit up with lanterns. My eyes worked their way from the top of the tree and met a pair of eyes. "Madison!" He stood there in front of a picnic, surrounded by the rest of ToBeOne and their family. I ran to him giving him a huge bear hug! Everyone had moved further down the hill to give us some privacy as we ate. The night was amazing as it came to an end. A few weeks later he invited me over and we watched a movie. When it was over it was so late, so he said I could spend the night. As I was agreeing, I yawned and laid my head on his chest and began to fall asleep. He carried me upstairs and set me on his bed. I had my arms around his neck while he was carrying me, then I didn't want to let go. "Stay with me." I didn't get a response and he hadn't moved. With my arms still around his neck I opened my eyes. He was right there in front of my face as I did. And as soon as I had opened them he kissed me. I pulled him closer with the arms I still had around him and he fell on top of me. One of his hands up my shirt on my back. The other caressing my face. My hand playing with his hair. I pulled his shirt off and he pulled off mine. I felt his strong back. He began taking the rest of my clothes off. Then it happened.. I knew it was wrong because of our age. But it felt amazing. And I loved him so much. Back then I didn't really know was I was doing but I didn't care. I just loved him more than life. He was my life. A few days later we were at the park shooting hoops with the other boys plus Justin, Madison’s brother. all of a sudden a girl I didn’t recognize walked by. She saw Madison and I and looked pissed as she came over. "Hi Mikayla..." said Madison who apparently knew her. "So this is the new slut?" she said with a snarl and a snare. "Oh get over it mikayla, why do you care anymore?" I was so confused at that point. but that was before I knew that she was his mental ex-girlfriend. "one day. one day you'll regret not taking me back." she said then walked away. creepy right? A few weeks later I went along to one of ToBeOne's performances. It was late fall so it was getting cool outside. But it was hot inside! Madison was all sweaty and needed to cool off by the time he got off stage. So he told us he was going outside for fresh air. I had been inside helping to dress the boys for their next performance. Madison had been out there for almost half an hour and I was getting worried, we all were. I went outside to look for him and it was dark except for a few street lights. I looked around until I saw his silhouette. But he wasn't alone. I looked closer... and burst into tears... "MADISON!!!" I screamed in horror.
I saw his silhouette drop to his knees as the other person moved their arm back from Madison. My stomach sank, my heart stopped, and I couldn't breathe. I ran faster than I ever have in my life, to his side. His body surrounded with blood. Everyone inside had heard my scream and came rushing out, looked around, then ran over to us. We arrived at the hospital with Madison in extreme condition. Mikey, Jason, Louis, Madison's family, Mikey’s mom, and I waited anxiously in the hall sitting on benches. My head in my hands with Mikey trying to comfort me. "They know who did this to him.." Mikey said. "What? Who?!" I said in shock. Mikey looked at the others in sadness, and back at me. "...his ex-girlfriend, Mikayla." I just had a shocked look on my face, then it turned to anger. The doctor finally came out. I stood up quickly still crying. "His stab wounds were too great. He doesn't have much time.." He said. My heart sunk so far I thought it was going to fall out my rear end. He gestured me saying I could go in. Madison was still awake but just barely. I went to his side as he looked at me. He touched my face drying my tears. I smiled at his attempt to assure me everything was ok. But I just broke into tears more. "You can't leave me. Not now. I can't live without you." I said in an unstable voice. "Of course you can. You're strong." He said smiling. "Not for this. I'm not strong enough for this. I can't. You can't." I faded as he shushed me and caressed me like he does. "You can’t leave now... Madison...? I’m pregnant." He smiled. I smile back still crying. We touched foreheads, and I whispered "nothing like us" and kissed him. I never knew that would be our last kiss, for as I did, his hand dropped from my face, and his lips softened. I let go and just looked at him, his eyes closed, never to re-open. "Madison..." I whispered. I looked up toward the ceiling, and continued: "I will always love you..."
That was years ago. Now, I am watching my daughter grow, with him watching close by. I am a virtual Widow, because in my mind, we were already married. But I never really got married, for no one can compare to him. I'm writing this from my chair, sitting on a hill, by a willow tree, waiting for the day I will see him again. I looked to the sky, rocking back and forth in my rocking chair, knowing he was watching. For his memory will always exist in the eyes of his fans, and he will always be in my heart.
