Save Me (boyxboy)

Save Me pt. 2

I knew what was coming as his hand squeezed the back of my neck. Nothing would surprise me after these past years yet my body still trembled even though it was very well familiar with the pain it was about to encounter.

I was stupid outside. I messed up and I knew that he had noticed the slight hope that had filled me as we stood there talking to my neighbor. I know he must have seen the look in my eye as I mentally begged Trey to help me. I could feel that he was much angrier than normal. He hasn’t thrown me against the wall yet so he must be really pissed at me.

“Did you think he would help you?” The cold voice whispered in my ear and I shivered in fear. “Don’t you know that no one can help you?” His voice rose only slightly and his fingers tightened almost causing a whimper to emerge from my tightly closed lips. But I won’t give him that satisfaction of knowing what this is doing to me.

I stayed quiet and focused on the wall in front of me. The one that still held the few pictures that hadn’t been broken from the force of my body connecting with them. There were three in total but my eyes only ever locked onto that one. The one that showed a smiling seven year old with his arms wrapped around an equally smiling older man. But that’s not why I focused on that one. Sure the picture proved that my life hadn’t always been this complete hell and that once upon a time my dad did in fact love me. No, that’s not what always drew my attention to that particular picture or had me buying frame after frame, fixing it every time it fell to the floor. It was the knowledge of knowing who the person was that had taken the picture…

“Answer me.” The voice growled. I flinched out of my thoughts and took a deep silent breath. Answer him. Why should I? It won’t change the outcome. It’s not going to make this hurt any less or make him love me again. So, why should I?

As I continued to stay quiet and ignore the sounds that were coming from behind me, I tried to force my mind to focus on that picture. It seems so foreign now as I look at it. We were happy. And not the fake happy that my dad shows his fellow police officers or the women that he brings home to meet his ‘amazingly well behaved son’ but the kind of happy that you feel when you’re with people that truly love you more than anything else. Or so I thought. If someone would have told me back then that this would be my life then I would have looked at them like they had just told me elephants can fly. Completely unbelievable. Now though if someone comes and tells me that soon I’m going to have someone that truly loves me and I’m going to be just as happy as I was back then, then I would look at them like they had just told me elephants could fly…

“I said answer me!” I felt the hard wall against my cheek before I even realized that I had been shoved against it. “You don’t want me to ask again.” He hissed, spit flying from his mouth and landing on my neck.

“No.” I whispered as I braced my hands onto the wall, hoping that when he pulls me off and slams me back against it I will be able to at least stop some of the force.

“Liar.” He laughed evilly. “I saw the way you looked at him. Do you want to leave me Carson?” He laughed again before doing exactly what I knew he would. It hurt but my hands did stop some of the force he used to push me back into the wall.

Do I want to leave him? If anyone has ever asked a more stupid question than that then I feel sorry for the person that had to listen to them ask it. Of course I want to leave him! And right about now I want to do so much more to him than just leave. I bit down on my lip to keep those thoughts in my head. I could only imagine how bad my beating would be if I actually answer him truthfully. I probably wouldn’t make it through the night.

“No.” I lied, feeling the wall smashing into my face. I’m certain I’ll have the imprint by the time were done with this part of the beatings.