"Alright sweetie, it's time to start packing.." my mom told me patting my back. I just sat there, on my bed, tears streaming down my face. I don't want to leave. I can't go to a new state, I can't leave Liam! Things are going great!
"Avry! Come on! You'll be late for your plane!" Mom shouted from down the stairs. This is horrifying... I still haven't told Liam that I'm leaving. I wish my mom hadn't have found my log none of this would be happening!
A few months ago my brother found my weight journal with all my calories and weight lost and how many times my self harm relapsed...
I'll be leaving for a rehab center in California in a few hours and Liam will be here soon. I finally work up the strength to get up and put my pre-folded clothes in my suit case.
"Avry! Liam's here!" My heart dropped. I walked down the stairs holding in every emotion possible.
"Hello princess!" I couldn't say anything back to him. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. We all knew, everyone except him. I shut the door behind us and sat him on the bed.
"Um.." I paused "I need to tell you something.." I choked on every word that fell from my lips. A tear fell from eye, Liam looked terrified.
"Avry... what's going on?"
"I'm leaving..." I couldn't even look at him it hurt to much I already knew he'd be crying. I looked up and he wasn't crying.
"Um.. I'm going to a rehab center in California"
"When? Why? Why are you just now telling me!? How long did you know?!" He shot up, I've never seen him so angry.
"I'm sorry, I've known for a few months but I haven't had the heart to tell you Liam!"
"Why though!? Why a rehab center!?" He shouted
"I relapsed... They found my journal..." I started crying I couldn't hold in my emotions around him anymore.
"Avry.." He grabbed me and hugged me "I'm sorry I'm so sorry I shouldn't have yelled.."
"No it's okay I should have told you earlier when I found out. I'm just so scared. I don't want to leave."
"Baby girl, it's okay! We can skype and everything! Right?"
"No... I can't have any contact with anyone, fear of relapses." I told him
"Oh... well.. Avry.."
"Yes..?"
"Can I at least drive you to the airport?"
"Yeah I'd love that" I smiled, that was the first time I truly smiled since the night in the back of his truck.
"Avry! You need to leave NOW!" My mom yelled from downstairs. Liam and I headed downstairs.
"Mom, can Liam please drive me there?"
"Yes sweetheart, we'll follow behind." we all walked outside, my little brothers toppled on each other to get into the back of my parents car as my mom and dad packed my bags into their car. I started to walk outside as I pulled my sweater on over my long sleeved shirt, better safe than sorry right? No one knew how bad the scars were, not even Liam. Liam and I got into his truck, Blue October, just like always. God, I'd miss him so much. If I relapse in rehab it would be because I couldn't talk to him! But no exceptions I guess.. we started towards the airport. I couldn't help but start crying.
"Hey, hey. Baby don't cry, it's for the best. You'll be okay, I promise. When this is all over, I'll be the first to pick you up." Him saying that actually made me feel better. But I still kept crying, I couldn't help it. I've been keeping in these emotions for so long I couldn't take this anymore.
After awhile we got to the airport. My face was red and swollen, when my mom got out of the car hers was just like mine, my father's worse than both of us. The twins were to young to understand. We grabbed my bags and walked towards my gate. There it was. Liam grabbed my hand "You can do this Avry, I believe in you."
He whispered something to me but I couldn't hear him.
"What?"
"Oh um nothing baby."
I turned around to face my family, the boys finally knew what was going on they both grabbed my legs and started bawling, my mother hugged me, my father also. We were all crying. Liam just stood there, turned away from all of us. Once they all let go I walked to him. He wouldn't look at me. His hand covering his face, he was crying.
"Liam..." he still wouldn't look at me.
"Please? Before I go?"
He turned and before I could even see his face he grabbed me and held on to me for what seemed like forever. I wouldn't mind that forever. I could feel him crying into my shoulder. I couldn't leave him like this! But I had to... I leaned away, he whipped his eyes.
"Goodbye Liam" I choked on his name and kissed his cheek.
"Goodbye baby girl, I won't forget you." he kissed my forehead. I grabbed my bags and walked towards the gate waving to my family and Liam. I can't believe this is actually happening...
