“What if I don’t get up?” he said to sadness. “What if I just live in my sleep from this moment on?
“You can’t do that, Jonathan,” sadness whispered. “I’m sorry, but it’s time to get up.”
He wondered why he had to feel this way. This empty. The last thing he felt as he fell into bed was sadness. Each morning, it was sadness who woke him.
“Why don’t I love you?” Jonathan asked. “We spend every day together, but I never get used to having you around.”
“You’re not meant to love me.” sadness replied. “That’s not how it works. If you loved me, you’d never let me go, even when it’s my time to leave you.”
“But I’m so lonely. Perhaps I should love you, perhaps we can make it work,” Jonathan said. “Would you love me back if I learned to love you?”
Sadness lay still, pondering. “I too want to be loved, but not like this. Not as sadness. I’m like a caterpillar, Jonathan. One day I’ll be something new. Something beautiful. No longer sadness, but joyfulness. Like a butterfly, you’ll be delighted at my company. But first I have to go away. I have to let the change happen.
“Why don’t you go now?” he asked. “Please go, I can’t bear having you around like this. You tuck me into my sleep. You wake me up each morning. You follow me around throughout the day. Please go away, sadness. Please.”
“I can’t,” sadness replied, crying. “I’m so sorry Jonathan, but I can’t, not yet.”
“When, then?”
“Soon. Soon I’ll be gone. You’ll wake up without me. For days. For weeks. For a long time, and one day I’ll return transformed. No longer as sadness, but as joyfulness.”
Jonathan cried. His pillow holding his heavy head, but nothing could hold his heavy heart. “I long for joyfulness,” he mumbled through his tears.
Sadness stood up, walked around the bed, pulling back the covers. “You need to get up now.”
Jonathan pulled the pillow over his head. Trying to hide, although he knew he couldn’t. He asked again, “Why can’t I love you sadness . . . I just want to be in love.”
“Don’t ever love me, Jonathan.” sadness said softly, but sternly. “If you do, you’ll never let me leave.”
“Then go, please. Leave me alone, I beg you; leave, without another word.”
“Come,” sadness said, “It’s time for you to get up now.”
