Chapter 3

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I hear the fight before I entered the house. Knowing that I'm not even supposed to be out of bed at this time, I take extra care in unlocking the door, each twist and turn of the key fitting the lock mirroring the beat of my heart. I took off my shoes quietly and entered the house, tip-toeing my feet against the marbled tiles. Luck was on my side, the hallway leading to the living room was empty, silent.

There were nights I lay in my bed listening to the sound of fighting. One minute I'll be asleep and the next awake. Mother would shout and Alan would begin laying into her and the screaming would start. She cried, he seethed, and I pushed my face into the long toy snake Ricky used to hug every night. I would think to myself how when mother left I would leave with her, flee the violence. I would drown out the screams, the crying and Alan's loud booming voice, just thinking about the places we could run of to. 

We could go for a long adventure,far far away from here

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We could go for a long adventure,far far away from here..from him. Perhaps Nepal, where people lived simply, having masala tea at sunset, watching the sun retire over the glistening Everest. 

Japan has also crossed my wandering mind, once or twice

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Japan has also crossed my wandering mind, once or twice. With a population of over 100 million people or so, we would be two lost souls, dealing with our grief in a city so big. I could study whatever I wanted, could even possible learn Japanese. Mother would be happy. And he could never find us there.

With each step into the hallway leading to the kitchen, the sounds got louder. Through the closed door came raised voices, each to and fro of the verbal fight getting more shrill, more severe. I hunched down unknowingly as if someone would catch me and eavesdropped.

"Yeah- I don't fucking care! Absolutely not!" Alan's voice was strained, barely containing anger. Mother whimpered," What if she ran away? Al, we've got to call the police..she could be hurt somewhere.. You can't do this to me, she's-you're all i have left.."

"Big fucking deal! I said no and that's that! If she's a smart girl" he laughed cynically, that same cold voice making me grip the door handle hard and continued, "she'd be in her bed now! I mean, what a bloody lucky girl she is! Food to eat and a house to sleep in, what else does she need? She'd better off be dead in that lake with the rest of them!"

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