My life as a Hero

Prologue: Part 1

Wind blows through a dry desert. A small blonde girl with twin tails and an ahoge is sitting on a rock, eating a bag of spicy Japanese chips. She is wearing a red t-shirt that says: No Waifu, No Laifu, and a black skirt. Her twin tails and ahoge flow with the breeze. Her red and blue bi-colored eyes are blank with boredom.

Several yards in front of her is a handsome young man with long brown hair that is slicked back, who is looking worried. His plain white t-shirt and blue jeans slightly flutter with the gentle breeze. A tumble weed rolls past him. A large shadow rolls over him. He looks up and he moans silently to himself. A 90 foot stone golem is standing in before him.

Time freezes. The little girl is in the middle of putting a potato chip in her mouth. The young man's mouth is wide open and sweat is forming on his brow. The stone golem looms over the guy and girl. The tumble weed is suspended in mid-air.

"Hi, my name is Dean Howard. I'm that poor bastard standing there. That loli girl is Stormy. That tall bastard is a stone golem that I have to beat for practice. If you are wondering what I'm training for, it's for super hero training. Yes, I'm a super hero in training, that loli girl is my teacher. She is a big pain in the as-.." a young male's voices says, but gets interrupted.

"Wow, wow. Where you about to say that I'm a pain in the ass, you shit stick? Hi, I'm that extremely cute loli girl, Stormy. I am the teacher of this derpy fuck up. He is soooooooooooooooo fucking usele-...' Stormy says, but gets interrupted by Dean.

"Why the fuck are you talking right now? This is my moment, you're going to confuse the audience you loli dimwit."

"The audience doesn't give a shit about you Dean. They just want to see you get your ass kicked. Am I right audience? Nod your head. Did you do it? I'm in a book so I can't tell if you did or not. I'm guessing that you said yes."

"Oh, oh, can I be in this? Hi, I'm not in this right now, but I'm Caitlyn. I am another hero in training and I am also a model and a bassist for a metal band. I have a feeling that I'm going to be the favorite characte-...' another female voice joins in.

"NO!!" both Stormy and Dean yell at the same time.

"Caitlyn don't talk right now. The audience isn't smart enough to understand what is going on. So get lost." Dean replies.

"Don't fucking say that the audience is stupid, they know that already. Also stop fucking stalling the fight. I'm sure that the Author is getting sick of our shit. We should continue the story." suggests Stormy.

"Fine then." Dean whines.

Time unfreezes. Dean stares at the giant stone golem and gulps. Stormy munches on a potato chip, but now, beside her, are several empty bottles of Sake. She has an evil grin on her face. Her eyes are glassy and her nose is bright red. Dean glances at Stormy and the empty Sake bottles and grunts in disapproval.

'When the hell did she get the Sake? Why the fuck is she drinking in the morning?!' Dean thinks to himself.

Dean looks back at the stone golem and clenches his right fist. He slowly crouches over and grins. In an instant, he dashes at supersonic speeds. A sonic boom echoes through the desert and a large dirt cloud explodes when he breaks the sound barrier. He swings his fist, breaking the sound barrier again. As his fist makes contact with the stone golem, his right arm explodes into a fountain of blood.

Time freezes again. Dean's face is in pure agony. The explosion of blood and bone is floating in the air. Stormy has a huge toothy grin on her face.

"At this very moment, Dean Howard knew he had utterly fucked up. His pitiful existence would have ended if I hadn't made him immortal. But if he was mortal, we wouldn't be able to see fuck up all the time and suffer. I did him a great favor. Any ways, let's get back to the scheduled program." Stormy chimes.