Jeff the Killer X blind reader

Chapter 10

      The first few days passed quickly, blending into a whole week. Then another week slipped by, adding to the gaining normalcy of life with the killers. The daily grind was simple. Jeff would train me in the morning, we'd eat lunch, and then he'd either continue a lesson or leave for a mission. Most of the others at the house ignored my presence. I was apparently no longer interesting because many had already left to go back to their usual lives outside of the woods. The only ones left at the house that I had met were Slenderman, Jeff, BEN, Hoodie, and Masky. A few others stayed at the house but I hadn't conversed much with them. Even the ones I had met were much less social than I had anticipated. Like myself, they all seemed to prefer mainly solitary lives and left the house for long periods of time.
      The common stretches of isolation suited me just fine. I would often walk around the woods, practice knife combat, or simply sit and stretch the limits of my perception of the material and mental world around me. I had refrained from using the dark power; there was no need to use it. But I couldn't help but fear, what if not using the ability would make it worse? What if not using it made the darkness more unpredictable? Like snow collecting on a mountainside, would it all come crashing down at the slightest release? I couldn't tell what would happen and doubts ate away in my mind, so I never once used the ability. I hoped I'd never need to use it.
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      "Hey, _____." BEN called from inside the game room as I walked through the front door. I turned towards his voice to show I was listening, swiping my feet across the doormat to get off the leaves that had collected. "Want to play some video games?" He asked hopefully. "Jeff always loses." He added with a snicker, earning a punch to his arm from Jeff who sat at the couch with him.
      "You liar! I don't lose, you cheat!" Jeff exclaimed. I laughed a little at his outburst.
      "I really can't..." I explained, starting to side step towards my room. I knew that I certainly could not play a video game. There was no feasible way to play something I can't see. I couldn't read, couldn't see the obstacles, and couldn't even understand the controller. It would be an ultimate disaster, ending with them discovering I'm indeed blind.
      "Nah, don't give me that crap. Come over here!" BEN called, messing with the controller to presumably load a new game.
      "No, that's okay. You really don't want to see me play." I muttered, slipping out of the entry way and heading towards to bathroom to shower. As soon as I locked the door, I heard their voices again. They must not think I can hear them, or they simply don't care.
      "That was rude." BEN muttered, still messing with the controller's buttons. Jeff hummed in agreement.
      "I don't like that kid." BEN mumbled as he pressed more buttons. "I don't get it. _______ can't use a knife, doesn't have any other noticeable talents, and seems to have zero bloodlust." BEN murmured. I froze, still standing next to the closed bathroom door. Was I really that different? Was this how the others viewed me? What he said was mostly true. I'm not good with knives, I've never shown my darker side, and I don't feel bloodlust unless I.... unless I kill with the darkness.
      Memories of those first unlucky campers came to mind. I killed them for necessities, but also for self-satisfaction. I ended their lives because, in the height of my dark power, their existence felt meaningless – like insects. I snuffed out their lights because of their petty emotions, and... I enjoyed it.
      And I enjoyed every kill since.
      A shudder racked through my body. I must have been so scary and so cruel, in that moment. I became someone else when surrounded by shadows and darkness, someone no one could like.
      "Hmmm, ______ knows where everyone is." Jeff supplied, but his voice went up at the end, suggesting his offer wasn't that strong or he questioned it himself.
      "Big deal." BEN answered sarcastically. "It's been weeks and the only accomplishment so far is the kid has some weird radar." BEN snorted and continued. "So the kid can sense where people are, who cares?" BEN went on. "In the moment of a kill, it doesn't matter if we can sense the location of our target." BEN huffed, still rapidly hitting the controller's keys. "I bet the newbie will chicken out on the first kill." BEN finished sinisterly, focusing on the game.
      "Yeah, I guess you're right." Jeff muttered.
      "And what the heck happened with Slender? I thought they were going to train?" BEN absentmindedly continued, still engrossed in the video game.
      "They were going to train on... something, but ________... well, _______ chickened out I guess." Jeff replied, also absorbed in the game. There was some furious clicking and a few sounds of frustration and competition.
      "The kid's hiding something, I can feel it." BEN muttered darkly. "I don't trust ______, not if _______ won't trust us." BEN said without much thought.
      "I know what you mean." Jeff replied haltingly, becoming more dedicated to the digital battle.
      All I could hear for a bit was the clicking of the controller buttons and game's sounds and music emitting from the TV. Then, the telltale shift from tense to triumphant music alerted me that one of them had won the game.
      "Cheater." Jeff muttered.
      "Yeah. Can't really deny that one, huh?" BEN replied with a smirk in his voice. However, I really wasn't listening. The feeling of inadequacy came crashing back. I leaned against the bathroom door, lost in thought. Did all the proxies see me as BEN did? Someone who doesn't belong, who's weak? I thought over the past week. No one really talked to me or invited me to anything, but I thought that was normal? Maybe? I had nothing to compare this to. No other point in my life consisted of actually trying to make friends. Is life with others always this difficult?
      I groaned before pushing myself away from the door. Everything was so much easier when I was on my own. No pesky emotions, no confusion, no talking. People would see me, run, and die. It was so simple.
      I started my shower, letting the water run cold for once. The icy feeling against my damaged skin felt good, numbing. I lifted my head till it was in the direct spray of the water, letting it run down my face in the set paths dictated by the scars. The water ran down the canyons in my flesh and never strayed, following the marks till their end. The coolness calmed my mind so I could think. I sorted through my emotions, pushing the negative ones back into their abyss.
      However, one thought lingered. I could live with BEN disliking me, but... I did care what Jeff thought. A little. I can't believe he agreed with what BEN was saying... I thought Jeff and I were getting along? I thought we were.... Friends?
      I shut the water off abruptly, immediately missing the chilling sting of the spray. I stepped out and dried off, gathering my clean clothes and pulling them on. I sighed and brushed my teeth, lazily leaning against the counter as I finished up. So, BEN and Jeff thought I didn't trust them.
      Did I trust them? I wasn't sure. I didn't really know what trust felt like. I spit my toothpaste out and turned the faucet on full to wash it down. I'd just have to figure this out in due time – no sense in stressing over it now, right?
      After another long walk among the trees, I slipped into our empty room and fell into a dismal sleep.

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Lil-magpie
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