Don't Open That Door - GoM 1

10

The Guardian took me back to the cave where the fire burned and signaled me to sit down. I wanted him to take me to you, but I was out of breath, so I sat down on the cold stone. He asked his question as he sat opposite me across the fire. I could only gawk at him, not believing my ears. I moved to stand up against my every muscle's will.

"Look, I really need you to bring George, or take me to him."

Like talking to a two-hundred-year-old Nooksack ghost.

"Do you love the young hunter you met when you were away?" he repeated, watching me get on my feet.

I held his eyes, determined to stop him from stalling any longer. After seeing the state your workers were in, I was dead worried about how you would be. The silence thickened between us.

"If I answer your question, will you let me see George?"

"It is not in the answer, but in your honesty."

I snorted and sat back down. He was as stubborn as a mule. Bet that's what makes him invincible.

"I don't love the young hunter," I said. He kept staring at me, so I added. "I thought I did, but later on I realized I was wrong."

"Why did you think you loved him?"

"Seriously?"

I sighed. There was no time to explain the whole thing to him—maybe some other time, if he felt like dropping by Stu's and have an ale with me—but I had to give some kind of answer. An honest one. I scratched my head. Didn't matter how bad it made me feel, talking about another man in that situation. If it was the price for saving you, I'd do it.

So I took a deep breath and said, "When I first met Aidan, I found myself being a completely different person. Claire was in danger and I was willing to do anything to keep'er safe. Aidan was there with me. He knew what was going on and he backed me up without hesitation, whether I wanted him to or not." I shrugged. "I didn't need to play ordinary people with him, 'cause he wouldn't freak out at my family background—he even knew Grandpa! When it was all over and I came back home, his understanding became retrospectively much more meaningful than I expected..." I looked down, recalling those days. "'Cause all of a sudden I couldn't go back to being the nice chick behind the mortgage desk. Not anymore."

The Guardian stared at me, waiting for me to go on.

I felt the cold welling in my belly. 'Cause deep inside Aidan is so important to me. I'll always owe him so much.

"Aidan helped me to find out who I really am, and I thought I loved him for that. Because he gave me the room to dare to be my true self when I needed it most. When nobody else would've done it."

"Have you ever tried to share any of this with the man you want to save now?"

I huffed. Great! Broken Hearts channel! Maybe if The Guardian got cable TV in his awful cave, he wouldn't go around abducting people and poking into their lives.

"No. He wouldn't understand. He doesn't believe in supernatural things."

"So you lied to him."

How much worse did he want to make me feel? "I kept things from him. So yeah, some may say I lied to him." Happy now?

"You say you do not love him. Yet you are willing to risk your life in order to save him. Why?"

None of your damn business? "Because I can. And maybe I don't love him as to marry him, but I do care about him anyway."

"Why do you care so much about him?"

None of your damn business! "How can I explain a feeling?"

"That is not an answer."

His pushing had me trapped in a mirror maze reflecting every moment I'd shared with you. Guilt and remorse choked me.

"Because I feel guilty!" I replied. "I did wanna love him! I tried so hard! But I... I only ended up hurting him!" It was like explaining to a brick why Mozart is a genius or why I love Philip Dick. At least he couldn't say I wasn't being honest. "He was the right man for me! I was supposed to fall head over heels for me! But I didn't! I... I can't..." I met The Guardian's dark eyes. "Please! I cannot give him what he expects from me. So please, let me at least try to save him!"