1) "I'm tired of begging for the things that I want."
~King For A Day by Pierce The Veil ft. Kellin Quinn
I realized things I want. But I can't have them... at all. It eventually comes to me, but in slow, painful pieces. This, I hate. Being patient for things to come to me. I just feel like I don't deserve things I can't get. Haha. Nothing ever works out with me, but I think I can deal with it... Maybe.
I am at school. Being quiet as usual. Everyone around me right now hates me. Just because I was being abused and sexually harassed by the most popular boy in school. His name shall not be spoke of, ever again in my presence. Of course I told on him. And now I am the bad guy. I love how this world works. My friends don't talk to me in school anymore. They don't want to loose their reputation, for being my friend. I don't want to be popular anymore. I changed my whole appearance. I now have a curly scene hairstyle, I wear dark, thick eyeliner, and I usually just dress in black skinny jeans and a band tee shirt.
Everyone sees me as some abomination. Once someone came up to me and said I once was pretty. That helped with my self-esteem a lot. I really don't care anymore about HIM, the people at school, no one. My parents don't even claim me anymore. They love my older brother though. The star football player, perfect grades, and gets all the girls. He doesn't likes me anymore because he was friends with HIM. So thanks universe for letting me fall so hard and fast with that douchebag. You helped a lot.
The bell finally rang. Thank you because I was tired of the constant glares from everyone every five minutes and the giggling. What are you happy for? That you just made a joke about me and the whole class laughed including the teacher. Yah, be proud. Stupid people these days. I wish I can just go somewhere else. Where everyone is just like me. DIFFERENT. I would love for someone to relate to me. We can talk all day because when I start talking I can't stop.
I hope one day this can change. Life can be peachy and sweet. Frolicking in the flowers, eating ice cream on the curb, and having endless sleepovers for 60 hours straight. Only if the world worked like that. But I have heard that the world doesn't revolve around me anymore, I'm just a useless crack. Just being there. I want to be noticed. Hello I am here you know, I'm not invisible. You don't have to ignore me anymore, the joke is over. You all had your laugh. I just want it to be over. PLEASE!
