The Infinity Sign

Chapter 1: The Mourning

Chapter 1: The Mourning

Come visit the valley of lullabies and dreams,

Take off your mind from the world, my dear,

Listen, my angel, to me as I sing,

Let my voice guide you in this land while you sleep.

The darkness surrounding us, instead of being somber, created the feeling of security inside me. The dimness kissed me gently, giving way to the waves of familiarity I used to taste. I closed my eyes once more, letting her voice erase all the worries and doubts in my mind.

It was magical, indeed. Her voice was as soft as an angel, yet it could haunt you like a ghost. Her lullaby was always the same: the words were mysterious, as if her mind wanders in another land; and the melody was enchanting and mesmerizing.

I reached out to touch her face, and like a bird disturbed while making its music, her eyes flung open. Deep ocean of mystery stared back at me as I traced her nose with my fingers. Her soft pink lips curved into a smile before catching my hands with hers.

“Brooke, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” She whispered; her voice silent as usual.

“Nothing. It’s just—It’s just too perfect, Mom,” I closed my eyes in a hurry, when tears threatened to ruin the moment.

With nothing but darkness, I thought I heard her chuckle because of the sudden quiver of my voice.

“It’s perfect because we’re together, kitty” She said so quietly, I almost failed to catch it.

Come visit the valley of lullabies and dreams,

Where dandelions dance in the music of the wind,

My love and kisses reach you through the breeze,

Don’t cry now, my baby, I’ll always be here.

“You’ll always be here.”

Tears fell down my eyes as I fought the darkness once again. The side of the bed where she was supposed to be lying was now empty, leaving no trace of her visit. I touched the white cloth, trying to find anything that may prove that she really sang to me tonight. That she was here by my side. But there’s nothing. The false sense of security I felt minutes ago was now completely gone. I was alone.

Getting up from my bed, I reached for the glass of water on the vintage table beside me. The glass hit the wood with an empty-sounding clatter as my trembling hand clutched it. The violent shiver of my body made me realize that the force was coming from my uncontrollable sobs. I gripped my blanket so hard, hoping that I could also take a strong hold on reality.

As I lay back down again, the lyrics of the song started playing in my mind. “Come visit the valley of lullabies and dreams…” It was just a lullaby from my childhood. My mother used to sing it for me every night before I sleep. I even requested her to keep on singing for me, even though she told me that it was no longer appropriate for my age.

I knew the song by heart, but the real meaning of the lullaby was a new discovery during that dark, sorrowful night last year. The song, when I was still a little girl, was my own version of fairytale. I always imagined myself playing on the field of dandelions with my mother. It was always a sweet land inside my head I used to visit. But now that I was crying on my bed, the real message of the song was torturing me.

The song was meant to comfort me in times like this. The valley of lullabies and dreams was a place where I can hide, where I can seek refuge when all the pain of this world was trying to break my spirit. It was an exclusive place that belongs to no one but me and my mother. The only place where we could be together again. Through this song, my mother was always alive, yet I was dying every night.