SHREDDED

1

if i'm losing a piece of me
maybe i don't want heaven

------------------------------------

Some people loves to be alone
Some people loves to be in a crowd of people
Some people loves to be in a center of attention
People are people, in their very different kind

But how about me?

I felt lonely most of times, I admit it. I was kinda used to it. Feeling hopeless of having a chance to meet any other different kind of people that would still likely to be friend with me. Was I craving for a company? Honestly, I was. Living in a world as an individual person wouldnt change the fact that we're all actually in a society of social people.

Now that here I was, living with my parents who always argue about nonsense things, did violence towards each other, even to me. By me I meant to my other siblings too. That was the only thing that leads me to the thoughts my presence meant nothing but a disturber to them. They never going to make up. I mean, I didn't say that I wanted both of them to stop beating the shit out of each other neither to divorce. All i want was for these things to stop.

As I always wonder, and keeps on wondering, what would it felt like to live in a home where actually feels like home?

I was the third kid of this family and the youngest one of my siblings. Both of my two older brothers already moved out of the house since they already had earned their own money and knew how to live on their own. I wished I could do that sooner, or later. Meanwhile I was still 16 and still in high school.

Honestly, I only had already made 11 friends by now. Why did I count on that? Because I can. And all of them were my skateboard buddies. None of them went to the same school as me.

-------------------------------------------

I was awoken by the sound of the buzzing alarm next to me. None of my parents would even care enough to wake me up every single day for school. I made my own sandwiches, one for my breakfast and one for my lunch.

After all done preparing for school, I went to the school by the bus.

I didn't really make friends at school, that I consider myself as an anti social. I would rather be all alone than be surrounded by idiots, huh.

"Well, look who's here," a guy approached me once I got myself to my locker.

"what do you want." I responded, without looking them directly. By 'them' i meant that the guy was never alone.

"Woah, easy there." He said trying to get in my way.

"Get the hell off my way!" I shouted a little once I was done in my locker.

"Hey, all I'm trying to do is to copy your homework, come on, just as usual?"

Oh hell yeah. You didn't see that coming right? I was so used to those things. People that would only approach me for some homework shits. And you know what? I would always give them anyway. So that they can get out of my way. Really disturbing, wasn't it?

"Thanks. I'd give it back by my second period!" He said excitedly, as I gave him my homework.

Later as the school was done, I walked home alone. Just as usual, you didnt get to catch the bus, so you know what.