SAYANG

1

Lahat tayo may mga weaknesses meron din namang strengths pero paano kung sa isang iglap yung mga bagay na akala mo makakapag patatag sayo ay maging sanhi pa ng paglubog mo?

"There was never an us, Miks. There will never be an us. What we had was a mistake that should never have repeated after the first one. Nakasakit lang tayo ng mga tao. Pati sarili natin nasaktan din."
I was trying not to cry for the past 10 minutes but when he finally said it, it broke me. Humagulgol na ako. I don't care what others may think. I'm in pain, I feel like my heart is breaking into million pieces.
"Let's just end this before it explodes, Mik. I never wanted this to happen. I know hindi mo rin ginusto. I know its too late pero I am so sorry. Call me an idiot or anything, but all I can offer now is my sorry. Gago na kung gago, hindi ko ikakaila, malapit na, Miks, konting konti nalang hulog na ko sa'yo. The past months was the best months of my life but...."

Bago pa niya ituloy, tinakpan ko na ang bibig niya. Hindi ko siya kayang sampalin kahit sobrang gusto ko na kasi wala na akong lakas, at hindi ko na din kaya pang saktan siya dahil alam kong ako lang din ang talo sa huli.

"Ako naman pwede? Alam ko hindi lang naman ikaw ang may kasalanan, meron din ako. Tama ka naman e, there was never an us. Pero buti ka pa nakapagpigil pa kasi ako? Lugmok na lugmok na ko, Is. Nahulog ako sa sarili kong kagagahan. Siguro tama ka nga, let us need this bago pa tayo makasakit ng mas marami. Pero wag mo namang sabihin na best months mo pero pinag sisisihan mo kasi pag sinabi mong best, maganda ang kinalabasan. Pero pag dinugtungan mo ng pinagsisisihan, contradictory siyang masayado. Lalo lang nakakagago. Siguro let us settle sa sobrang mali ng ginawa natin. Pero tandaan mo, I never regretted having you in my life."

Bago ko itinuloy, niyakap ko siya ng sobrang higpit.
"This is goodbye, Isaac, I hope you everything good in life. Thank you for being part of me. Let me be the one to end this, to uplift myself from the hole I dug for myself. Kasi baka hindi ko kayanin pag ikaw pa ang tumapos." I kissed his cheek one last time and whispered, "Paalam, Isaac. "