13 Reason's Why: [TEAM10]

Tape3

A few days passed, and already, I was so close with everyone. Each morning I played video games with Anthony, helped Chad tutor Ivan and Emilio, etc. the only thing awkward was Chance and me. In vlogs, people caught us flirting, which was true; but when we were alone, it got all awkward. I had never felt so close with Team 10 than I did this weekend. It's weird, I think it's because of meeting Chance and Anthony. Anthony and I were super tight now, Like we knew each other our whole lives. By evening, on my last day, we decided to go to the beach for a bonfire.

Bonfires were my favorite. I always had the best memories there. My brother and I always used to build one when we were younger.

I changed into a bikini, and threw on one of Kade's oversized hoodies.

@sage
Just now

[❤️] [💭]
"Beach with @team10"
5,889 likes

At the bonfire, I sat in between Kade and Chance, Erika and Tessa were directly across from me. For the first time, this weekend, I pulled out a cigarette. Chance and Anthony had never seen me with one, and they both looked surprised.

"Sage" Chance said lowly, quietly

"Yea?" I said, getting nervous. I was worried something like this would fuck up my chance of any relationship, ever

"You know, you know those things can kill you"

"Yep" I said nodding my head

"Then why?"

"What do you mean why?" I said, giving him a 'don't go there glance'

"Why do you do it, if you know it could one day kill you"

I said nothing. I didn't want to say anything that would ruin something

"Sage, why?" He asked again. He pushed it

"You know why Chance? I said getting up. Because it takes the pain away. The pain of-of everything away." Kade put his arm around me, and gave Chance a look of warning

"Sage"

"What!" I said, annoyed this time

"I want to know more about you"

"Me? What? Why"

"Well I mean, you seem interesting"

"...thanks?"

"Not in a bad way. But I feel like we could be better friends if I knew more about you"

Everyone went silent, and looked at me, eager

"Sage it's ok-" Kade started to say

"No, I know, I just, I guess it wouldn't hurt telling you guys." I sighed, and Kade grabbed my hand

"When I was 11 years old, my father actually, raped me. And I told my brother, who I was very close too. He told my mom, and she did nothing about it. The cops did nothing either. So that night, my brother woke me up, said we were leaving. He told me he was taking me to Detroit. I was excited at first, because Kade had just moved there. I packed a few things, and we left. We got a small apartment in the city, near Kade's. By the time I was 13, I was into drugs, alcohol, you name it. I didn't know how to stop. Before high school, my brother found out about my addictions, and took me to rehab. I was able to go back to school in the middle of Freshman year. That's when I got into photography. I had no problems with addictions, and I stuck with photography. When I was 16, my brother died. He was in a car accident. I did my best to afford the apartment we were living in, and Kades mom often sent money. But it wasn't enough. I spent most of my money on cigarettes, and photo film. When I was 17, Kade moved here. I had no one. I couldn't go back to my parents, and I was to scared to take the offer of moving out here with Kade. I was always afraid of my parents. I actually found out the my parents had another kid, whom my dad also took sexual advantage of. because she was to young, she ended up passing away, and I never met her. I'm doing better now, I have a better apartment, I can afford things, especially because of Kade and his Mom. Just this year, I was hired for a model agency. I worked with photographers for high end clothing lines. I even got the opportunity to design clothing. You never see my cuts, because I do the best to cover them up. I hate them now, they remind me to much of everything. I attempted suicide once. But all this pain, this hurt, is exactly a few of the reasons why I'm HERE. Today, living breathing, happy. If I let the pain get to me, then that makes me just as weak as the people who hurt me. As long as I'm here, I know I can make a difference." I sighed and Kade let go of my hand.

I looked around the fire, and saw most people tearing up, or to shocked to say anything. Lastly I looked at Chance, who was tearing up as well. He pulled me into a hug, and again I felt safe.