This little sheep.

Pain.

I had checked into my hotel and while ago. The days seem to fly. I've only had a few visits from the witch. It's already Friday and nothings happening with Nova. All I know is she's getting weaker. They really don't tell me much.

But as I was eating pizza today Ciara burst threw the doors crying she was in labor. I don't know what made me. I jumped up and walked to the door and told her to come on.

Thinking is all I'm able to do these days. Order pizza. Think. Do other shit. think.

Ive been thinking a lot. It hurts my damn head. I've been thinking about what if she survives? what if the baby lives? this is stupid stuff to think but it's just been on my mind.

Today wasn't the day to hold up my cold side. I'm losing it. I don't know what's happening. I try to be cool as we pulled up to the hospital and getting out of the car as my mom runs to the doors as I walk. I black out for about an hour.

***************

" PLEASE MOMMY!" Nova screams." MOMMY MAKE IT STOP.!" Nova screams as Ciara pleads with her. There's only a few people in the room.

Not less than twenty minutes ago nova smiled weakly at me and told me she wanted her big sister in the room!

I don't know what the hell posed me to stay but I did. As nova screams to the sobbing Ciara I stand in the corner staring and wondering how bad it must hurt. Sick. I know. But just think to be that weak and have to go threw that.

"Nova mommy's here baby. Calm down baby!" my mom sniffed and rub her hair as she leaned into Nova. She was pale. As sweat trickled down her body she tried to smile. As that smile vanished and her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she screamed.

" HELP HER DAMNIT!" Ciara called to the doctors. She sobbed. "I don't want to lose you." she whispered to Nova under one of her screams. The high pitched noise giving me a headache.

I don't believe that it's sad that I don't feel one inch bad for Nova. Yea she's my sister in all but she treated me just like everyone else. She was always the popular one. Getting her sandy blonde hair from my dad's side. Her beautiful green eyes always held life and a spark of happiness. But when she looked my way she was full of hate. Hate. That's all I received from her and now that's all in gonna give. I'm just here till this is all over then I'm going home and getting wasted.

" All right! We have a chance! lets push nova!" Ciara's head snapped up like a bullet! she held a little bit of hope. "she's fully dilated she can push. But we don't have much time!" the doctor explained I pushed myself off the wall not believing what I was hearing.

"T-the baby will live?" Ciara asks standing up straight still holding Novas hand. Her hand turning purple but not one complaint from her. The doctor nods and Ciara bends down to give soothing and calming words into Novas ear. I zone out staring at her. The mom I always wanted standing before me. As if I was sick or hurt. She cool me down. And as if I was a baby she'd take me for ice cream after. My childhood was never as it was for Nova. Being the younger she got all the attention. And whatever Ciara messed up with on me made a better choice with her. I was a test dummy, a try to see of she could do it right. And maybe that's what I turned out the way I am today.

Knocking me out of my thoughts was the most beautifulest thing I ever heard. Once again in my life everything slowed as the doctor held up the baby screaming and crying. Smiling happily ' it's a girl' rang threw my ears. All I could look at was the little being in his hands.

Shacking my head Ciara screaming at me to go with the baby. I see a nurse leavening with her. Nodding in my direction I slowly start to walk out the door and in my time of leaving I see Novas eyes close and her chest slowly down. I walk faster out not wanting the outcome of that.

Following the nurse in the direction she walked I kept trying to get a peek at the small baby in her arms. She whimpered and cried and the women walked. We reached two double doors made of dark wood they looked hard to open so I ran a little ahead and held the door open for the nurse. She smiled my way and nodded for me to follow. I did as told as we entered a room full of babies and baby stuff!