I remember the feeling. The empty feeling that dug a grave into me and didn't fill it back up. 'He's dead' my mom had said in tears, the phone dropping from her shaking hands.
I remember that feeling. The aching of anger that strangled my mind with its own sanity. 'Why did he have to go?' I had asked myself, clutching tear-soaked photos and screaming into pillows.
I remember that feeling. Making it through my first month of school after the funeral. Condolences and paid respects tossed at me and expected to do something like the beating of a dead horse.
I know this feeling now. I've known it since I woke up in the middle of no where with people I don't know and only one thought on my mind. 'What would he do?' I ask myself now, tossing and turning in the leaves and pinestraw, shivering in the cold. The confusion and fear pounding in my head and heart like a jackhammer. I just can't wait for the sun to rise. But then what. What do I do from there? Where will we go, is there something to go to? I just want the sun to rise.
"Rise and shine, sweetheart!" Dylan calls down to me, nudging my arm with his disgusting sneaker.
"Don't touch me." I say bitterly, shooting to my feet and out from under the shelter of the blanket.
Dew and frost coat the low leaves of the trees, the sun is low in the sky still, storm clouds drowning out the few rays that shine over the mountain ridge.
"We need to get moving while we still have light." Elizabeth mutters to me, packing up her few supplies.
"Where exactly are we moving?" I ask, tightening the laces of my boots.
"I don't know alright? But we can't stay in one spot forever."
The silent girl fends off Marcus and Dylan's advances with glares. Elizabeth and Austin lead the way, arguing over who holds the compass and which way to turn. Most of the younger boys debate over how we got out here while I watch over the rest.
"Ms. Lexa?" I hear a small voice say. I look down and see Allison, holding tightly to her older sister.
"What's up kiddo?" I ask, plastering on a smile.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere safe, I can promise you that."
The sun is high in the sky at last but dark clouds drown it.
"We need to get cover and find lower ground." I announce.
Elizabeth and Austin agree and we set off down the steep mountain side. Gravel slipping under our shoes, the sound of a waterfall raging closer and closer, nervous gasps each time one of us stutter in our steps. It still a long way down the mountain and those clouds aren't getting any friendlier. Heavy drops already begin raining down like tiny frozen bullets. We need to make it across the waterfall and we'll be safe, at least, safer. At this point I follow up the rear while Austin and Elizabeth lead. The silent girl walks in front of me, rolling her eyes each time Dylan or Marcus make a pass at her.
"Why don't you talk, sweetheart?"
"Don't want to talk to Marcus? You can talk to me baby."
"Come on, you gotta a mouth that can speak, it can probably do even more than that!"
"For the love of christ, you must really love the sound of your own voice!" I finally interject their crude words.
"Ah shut up, prude!"
Before I get the chance to say something witty, my foot slips on the wet rock. A scream rips from me as I stumble into the rock side of the waterfall and cringe when a hand smacks against my wrist, gripping it painfully tight. I look up through the rainfall and see the silent girl gripping the rockside with one hand and me with the other.
"Just hold on!"
"We need to keep moving!"
"We're not going to leave them!"
I lock eyes with the beautiful girl and shake my head, "You need to just let go okay? I'll survive the fall and hit the water and find you all!" I lie.
She knits her eyebrows and regrips the rock, she can't hold on much longer.
"Dammit! Let me go okay? I'll be fi--
The air lifts around me, the stress in my muscles going with it. My dark hair floats around my face, my windbreaker doing the same as the wind rips around me. And then the water hits, quickly and painfully and sooner than I expected. Even more painful is the body that drops on top of me, pushing me farther under the water. I try to see through the dark, rushing water and grab the body, hoisting it up to the surface with me.
I gasp when I break through into the air, coughing and sputtering and keeping the girl afloat, she fell with me. Why would she do that? I'm actually alive, thank god, that is not how I wanted to die.
I drag the silent girls limp body from the surf, rain beating down on us, wettening our clothes even further.
"Please be breathing." I whisper, lowering an ear to her chest, "Shit."
26...27...28...29...30
I lower my lips to hers once more and breath life into her drowning lungs.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7
Her petrifying green eyes break open, watering seeping over her lips as she coughs and wheezes for air. Her hand grips my thigh tightly as she rolls over into me, breathing shakily as I slowly rest a hand on her back.
"Are you okay?" I ask shyly.
She nods timidly, moving away from me and sitting up, wiping the water from her mouth.
"Are you sure?"
She simply nods once more, her defensive expression returning.
"Okay then, let's find some shelter."
