Issues ~10~

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Y/n

Its been a week since my surgery an I am back at home. I stayed at the hospital for about two weeks. I still have the stitches in my head. My stomach healed faster since in they just inserted a small tube and pumped my stomach. I only had a few stitches for that and that didn't take long to do. My head should take maybe a month or less to heal. Lately I have been angry at everyone. Not so much Ally tho. I've been thinking of going to a therapist to help me with my depression. Maybe they can help me cause I not taking those damn pills. I'm not taking something that suppose to make me feel happy. So hopefully talking to someone will bring my happy self back. All though it may not help much because most of my happiness died with my family. But hey, that's life. You live and you die.

"I'm not taking those devil pills!" I yelled at uncle Lee. He has been to get me to take my antidepressants. "I'm not taking something that's suppose to make me feel happy for a certain amount of time! Then go right back to feeling sad and shit!" I shouted. "Y/n it will help you. Just take it please." He pleaded. "Fine. Give me the little shits." I said through gritted teeth. He handled me the pills with a thankful smile. He patted my knee an walked out the room closing the door behind him. "Dumbass." I mumbled. I got up off my bed and opened my window. I took the pills and tossed them out the window. I grabbed a picture of my family and I on Christmas day. Lately I have been thinking of my family. Even though what happened happened a couple months ago its just now hitting me. My family are gone. I want be able to see them every morning like I used too. I want get to play around with my brother. Even though he was a pain in my ass at times I still love and miss him.

I miss my moms craziness. My mom was kind hearted. Made sure her kids ate even if it meant she didn't get to eat that day. She took care of us before herself like very mom should do. I used to take that for granted when I WS younger. But as I got older I realized how much she did for us. Miracle and I started working so we could help out around the house. Miracle worked at Kroger's and I went around the neighborhood cutting the grass for people. Although she didn't want to take our money she eventually time it. We would beg her to take it until she time it or sneak it into her purse. My dad was a good men. Unlike his family he wasn't racist, rude, and selfish. He was a firefighter. I remember he would take Ty and I with him to work sometimes. Only when he was getting his check. He would show us around and tell us what everything was. Ty and I was fascinated every time. He let us do the fire hose once. My dad would make sure he spent time with us. Especially Miracle since she would be the only one dating a boy. He would do a daddy daughter day with her. He time Miracle to get clothes and different stuff.

For Tyler and I he would do a dad and son day. Even though I am a girl he treated me as if I was a boy. But he was a little easier on me. Since I was like my aunt Valencia. Me and her didn't like to fight. She was bullied like me when she was in school. She is intersex too. She helped me a lot with school. But sadly she passed away. She took her own life because she couldn't take it anymore. I promised her that I wouldn't let anyone push me to that point that I kill myself. Now Tyler. He liked to push my patience. He would go in Miracle and I room and take my clothes. Even though he couldn't fit them. But he knew it annoyed me. But we had moments where he would be attached to my hip. We played basketball outside our house together. All most every morning. I never went easy on him. He would get made at me but I did it to help time get better. Which it did. He was the captain of his basketball team. I was there for every game to. We played video games together too. I miss him.

Miracle. Her and I were without a doubt attached to the hip. We did everything together. Like they say about twins following each other around it was true. I am younger than her by one minute. I literally followed her around. Even at the as I am at now. Not going to lie about that. I didn't do it all the time tho. She didn't mind tho. If she went to the bathroom I would sit outside the door and wait. If she went to the kitchen I would be right behind her. I felt like if I wasn't with her she would leave and never come back. She knew that too. I told her one day when she asked me why I follow her around. Miracle was like my bodyguard. At school she would protect me from the bullies. Now its not like I choose not to fight. I'm just to scared to do something about it. I will fight if it has something to do with my family. I remember this one time my sisters ex broke up with her for not having sex with him. I knocked his ass out. He never looked or talked to her again. If you make me made enough I will fight you. I ain't no pussy now. I just know how to hold my patience.

Knock! Knock!

I groaned when I heard someone knock on my door. I ignored them and laid on my stomach. I played with the carpet on the floor. I heard the door open but didn't bother to look up. "Hey Y/n." Its Camila. Ignored her and continued to mess with the floor. "I was told to see if you took your medicine. Did you take them?" She asked me in a soft voice. "Does it look like I took them. The little bitches make my stomach hurt anyways." I said glaring at her. She raised up her hands. "Sorry. Just doing as I was told." She told me. I felt her lay beside me and snuggle into my right side. She grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her waist. "What are doing?" I asked sitting up on my elbow as she held onto my other one. "I want to cuddle. I don't care if you are mad or not." She told me. "I'm sorry for being rude. I just have a lot on my mind lately." I told her and laid my head on her chest. "Its OK. I know you don't mean it. But shouldn't you take your medicine." She said. "Yes but I'm not. All its going to do is make me feel fake." I said. "Its not meant to do that. Its meant to help." Camila said. "Will that's what it seems like. I'm happy on the outside but the outside I'm sad and lonely." I told her truthfully. "Remember you have your uncle, aunt, Ally, and I too. We are here to help." She said.

"I guess." I sighed and played with her bracelet. We talked for a while about anything. Camila tried cheering me up and it worked. She told me about the time she ran into a tree in front of her crush. She told me about when I was in the hospital and Tete Bree literally beat the crap out of Dc3 and Elizabeth. I was laughing so hard I was crying. They deserved it. Plus Elizabeth knew better than to do what she did with a crazy family like ours. We were laughing so and Ally walked in. "Go to sleep." I whispered. I laid across her stomach and Camila quickly laid down with her head hanging off the side of the bed. (A/n~ this is what my mom in us do every time someone walk into the room.) "Really guys? I know you are not sleep." Ally whined. "Get up. Its time for lunch." She said pulling my arm but I didn't budge. "Guys!" She whined trying to roll me over. "Fine then." She said. I thought she gave up but I was wrong. I felt her jump on my back causing Camila and I to yelp. "Ow! OK we are getting up." I said pushing her off me. "That's what I thought." She said and walked out. "Rude." Camila muttered. We got up and headed downstairs.
























~Paradise

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