I don't know how I became like this maybe people love me and I just neglect them because I can't feel their feelings towards me all I do is complain abt how shitty my life is and I never spared a thought for them all I ever did was talk abt me and not them I'm just really stupid huh
Everyday it feels as if my angel and my devil are always having a conversation in my head, I thought they were living in harmony, having the right amount of playfulness and Kindness
But recently things changed I've changed
The both spirits started fighting and arguing and often the devil wins so I make mistakes and it took over me
My angel went missing I don't know where she went maybe she broke her wings.. sometimes I can feel her but I can't seem to get her back she hates me doesn't she, my angel got me my friends and everything good but yet I didn't cherish her, I must've tortured her that's why she left me with the devil.
I continue making mistakes without realizing my angel was gone, I continued and continued without even knowing I was hurting others. I became deaf and blind , I couldn't hear the sadness and pain I've caused others and what's worst is that I continue hurting them till this day.
I regret. That's all I could say
A thousand apologies wouldn't even save me now at least , my heart is confused
One thought of mine was to : just give up they'll never forgive you anyways why do u have to try so hard? Just be depressed and live with it for the rest of your life, this way you'll keep your pride and your face don't you want that?
But somewhere deep down tells me to: Don't give up, you love them don't you? How much do u love them? You know you can't live without them so why put up a face just to cover up how you really feel? You need them don't you? The girl I know deep down is a kind hearted person that just needs some love from people around her. Don't give up I believe you can change, you're simin aren't you? You're that girl that never gives up on anyone or anything and always try to make things right. It's not too late now..
But My demons don't budge no matter how hard I try to get rid of them. I asked myself what have I become. Well it's scary what your demons can do to u, they'll make u lose everything and everyone .
Maybe My angel and my devil were never in harmony in the first place they've always been fighting.
Looks like my angel lost due to my selfishness my greed my pain . I should've never gave in but I was weak, pathetic all I cared for was what I wanted and not to what I needed. Now the devil had won. how am I ever going to get my angel back ... how can I ever help her heal her broken wings her endless pain that I've caused her I don't know anymore.
