Love? (Spain x Romano fanfiction)

"Te amo"

"W...what?"

"Te amo Romano"

...

"I...I love you too bastard"

...................I lied that day..................

It has been a month since we started dating. Almost every afternoon, he would take me out to walk along the familiar streets and have dinner together. He is so kind and gentle. But that only make the situation worse. I can't look at him directly in the eyes. I know that's normal because I'm a liar, and I do feel guilty about lying to him, but a part of me wants this to continue. I want to keep lying. I don't want him to leave

...How selfish.

"Are you okay?" - he asked softly

"I'm fine, just thinking" - I look away, not wanting to let him see my face

"Are you sure?" - he took my hand and gently placed a kiss on it

"S...shut up bastard! Of course, I know how fine I am. Don't belittle me!"

He smiled - "Sure, anything you say Roma"

"Don't even fucking call me that"

'please don't smile like that...Antonio...

You're killing me'

"Your face is as red as a tomato. You look so cute! May I take a photo? Please?" - the Spanish grinned

"Fuck off bastard!" - I yelled. I guess I've been insulting him too often so now he has been considering them as his pet names.

"I'm sorry, but you really do look cute Roma"

*headbutt*

"Shut up bastard! I'm just hot!"

"But aren't you wearing a jacket and a scarf? And isn't it December now? It'll be funny if you're feeling hot"

"Just shut up!" - I ended the conversation and walked away.

"Wait Roma! Aren't we suppose to hold hands?"

"Hell no!"

We walked through the busy streets of Madrid. How annoying. The people in Spain are just too cheerful. They can smile anytime, anywhere at any circumstances. And Antonio is the same. He has that Spanish spirit that can't be washed away. I'm totally the opposite of him. A small grumpy Italian, that's who I am. I've always been ignored or disguised by people. I was never noticed. Everyone likes Feliciano. When they talked about my family, all they asked about was my little brother.

"Feliciano is the second child?"

"Who is Romano?"

"I can't believe that sweet little Feli is related to that guy, Romano"

That was what they said. I was always compared to my brother and honestly, I'm just sick of being invisible. Being the antagonist in every story. That's unfair.

But Antonio noticed me. Antonio was probably the only one who talked to me. And on top of that, he loved me. I've always been wondering how he could give his heart to a person like me. I have always acted mean towards him, and hurted his feelings countless times. But he never left. He has been by my side whenever I'm sad, when I'm lonely and comforted me through tough times. I can't understand him. I can't understand love.

And it's weird how I always blushed when I'm around him, and how it felt hot everytime he touches me. I denied that I'm in love with him, but deep inside, I really want to show him how I really feel. I'm unsure. And I'm doubting myself. Doubting my own heart. Doubting the rational part and the emotional part of me. So, what is my answer?