// ♡ irwin
Friday came and my hands were sweating as I walked through the park with Stella Connors by my side. Obviously, I was nervous, I had literally dreamed about this moment. But, I wasn't sure what sort of nervous I was. On one hand, I was nervous because Stella was beautiful, she was still wearing her ripped black skinny jeans and a The Wonder Years sweatshirt and her hair was still knotted and messy running down her back and I was nervous because I didn't want to mess anything with her up, because she seemed like a blessing in diguise.
But on the other hand, Calum had told me that Stella Connors was damaged goods and that I would basically be crazy to try and fix her, and if I didn't try and fix her I had to stay with her and I had to help her through hard nights like Calum had mentioned. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that committment, I was almost twenty, barely out of high school.
I wasn't ready to look after anybody but myself, I didn't even think I was ready to get into anything more than a brief fling. But I knew I would get into a serious relationship with Stella Connors, just like Luke, Michael and Calum knew they wanted to be in a famous band with headline tours by next year.
I guess that was the problem though, the fact that I knew I would do it, but I didn't know if that was really what I wanted. Yes, Stella was gorgeous and she liked all the same bands that I liked and she wore band shirts and ripped jeans that made my heart thud, but was a serious relationship with damaged goods really what I wanted?
Everyone else seemed to know what they wanted. Luke and Michael had guitar, Calum had bass, the three of them had the band they wanted to really start - which they would need me for - but, unlike them, I wasn't completely set on making it in the music business, I felt like I had nothing going for me and it didn't help I didn't even know what I wanted.
"What are you thinking about?" I was pulled from my thoughts by the angelic voice of Stella Connors, I glanced over at her to see her looking at me carefully, like I had been spaced for longer than I thought I was, "You looked really into whatever it was," She added, seeing my confused expression.
"Just thinking," I assured her as I stared down at her and watched how the twilight fell on her face. Her skin was pale alabaster and with the dim lighting and the contrast of her dark hair, she looked like a goddess and I had a strange, overwhelming urge to kiss her.
So I did.
And when she kissed me back, I knew what I wanted.
I wanted to help her, whatever her problems were, I wanted to help fix her because Stella Connors was what I wanted.
// ♡ connors
"Did he kiss you?" Calum asked after I walked in the door, a barely there smile on my face after I had watched Ashton drive away, a large grin on his face as well. I hadn't expected him to kiss me when he did, but he did, and I instantly knew I wanted to kiss him back.
It was like when something just clicks in your mind, or like when you forget something and its on the tip of your tongue and then you remember it and you feel sweet relief. That was what it felt like kissing Ashton Irwin, it was like something clicked. I didn't know how long his infatuation with me would last, but I knew while it did I wanted a part of it.
"Why do you want to know?" I crossed my arms over my chest, seeing as it was absolutely none of his business. But as Calum raised his eyebrow and crossed his own arms over his chest, I knew I had been caught out.
"If you must know, yes, he kissed me, and it was great, whatever, goodnight," I bid my step brother goodnight before trying to dodge him to get to the stairs.
"Just be careful," Was the last thing I heard before I reached the top of the stairs and ran around the corner to the confines of my room, where I wouldn't hurt myself tonight because I was feeling so good.
