Love before blood (Uriah and Zeke of Divergent FF/SMUT)

Chapter 1

    Then another day like this, thinking and wondering why. Was it never enough? I mean my love. Zeke, why? Why do we even have to break up? It has been days already but his goodbye is still fresh in the back of my mind. I can still feel his touch. I can still hear his voice. I can still see the fast transition of how he looked at me before and how he looked at me that night–from sincere to cold. I hate that I miss it. I miss Zeke.
       But, damn he gets into my nerves. I shouldn't be this sad right now. I should move on. I should be enjoying the adrenaline rush by now instead of drooping around. There's no time for it; only for beating and wild adventures.
      I suddenly remembered how we trained, the other initiates and I, I enjoy beating someone that time and maybe now is also a good time. I feel like strangling someone or choking someone to death. I finally adapted the Dauntless traits so I think a fight would be a good escape from emotional pain right now.

      I was sitting in my usual place; on the flatboard just right above the chasm when some boy came to bump on me, running. I almost fell straight into the chasm but thanks to my quick reflexes, a common thing for dauntless, I got a good grip on the railings but don't get me wrong. Hanging like this?–hundreds of feet above the rushing river and anyone who fall this high can't survive. Realizing how hard to hold onto the railings the longer it gets so my ears and face got hot. On the first place I should be hanging like this here! I quickly lost my temper.
      "Hey! Damn you! Can I even get a little help here?!" I shouted at the boy who was just staring at me after he bumped me.
      "Hey you little boy! I deserve some help here and that stare doesn't count– " my monologue was interrupted when my right hand almost slipped, the cold droplet of water from the chasm fell into the railings–which made it more slippy–and then into my almost numb, red violet hands. I observed my grip and realized it wont last long.
     Slowly shifting my body weight into the other side to keep my balance but then, it was only my fingers that was holding into the railings. I let out a scream when I thought im close to my death then he snapped back. Oh thank God.
       "Wait, here! Hold my hand!" He positioned himself first so we won't fall both when I hold him then finally, he let out his hand and lowered his body so I can reach for it.
       When my both arms finally reached the flatboard, he pulled me but there was too much force so I almost hit his face–with my face–and our position looked like we're kissing; only that there was a tiny space between. Enough space to make us look like kissing from afar and not enough space to make that kissing scene real even when it's possible at this range. I can feel a strange feeling–like there's this electricity in my veins, making my heart pumps blood faster–having him this close, a feeling that is familiar and comfortable.
        It took us minutes to realize the current situation we are in– which made me that think both of us turn into red. I move back as fast as I could and so does he. I can't believe I felt like I blushed. Is it because of embarrassment? I don't know, I don't usually blush so maybe it's because of embarrassment. It has to be even though– oh he's cute even the distance between us grew apart and he does seem familiar! But I set that thought aside for awhile and creased my eyebrows at him out of anger or maybe the will of escaping this embarrassment.

      "Where were you? Why did you just stared at me? Do you think that would help? I almost fell off the chasm for pete's sake!"
       "For my sake?" I looked for who owns that kind of voice and no doubt, it's Peter's, a transfer from Candor. He's standing behind me and I guess he's about to cross the chasm so I gave way. I told him, "Oh shut up."
     "Now, if you'll excuse me." He said with a condescending tone like he saw a flaw or something I shouldn't be doing. What? I'm doing nothing wrong here. 
        I watched how Peter disappeared along the dark path in this compound. Then, I looked again at this boy in front of me. Who looks like a lost puppy, head down and eyes trailed off. He hesitantly faced me after noticing the awkward eerie in between then explained himself.
       "Sorry if I spaced out when you need help. It wasn't my intention to let you fall. It's just–" he said looking down again and scratch the back of his head then his hands fell on the back of his neck. I find it... cute and sexy  at the same time. "It's–it wont happen again. I promise." Even without a need of gesture, I nodded. Maybe just to brush the cute thought of him out of my mind.
      Trying my best to be as tough  like a real Dauntless as usual so I reply fiercely, "Ofcourse it wont! Or you will be the one hanging next time." because as far as I remember I can see him running with arrogance but why is he like this now? When I want a fight he can't give me? Where did that arrogance go, its needed now.

      I stared at him again, waiting for his reaction. Please be arrogant. But sadly, he failed to give me one. I shot him a look when he tried to face me again but the thought of him looking familiar didn't permanently left me. He really does look like familiar.
     "Hey kid, you look familiar." I said because maybe I knew him before and maybe I can forgive him for this time. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and said, "Don't call me kid! I'm 16 and–" I was taken aback with the arrogance of his reaction at first but it made me smile but it quickly disappeared like he realized something so he took a hold of himself and he began looking on the space between us. Looking embarrassed again. "And– nevermind. I'm leaving." He always left a thought hanging. I'm almost curious but I tried not to. I wouldn't beg. Even if I was in my right mood, I wouldn't.
      "Glad you would." I said almost shouting when he turned his back and walk away.

      I sat again and looked down like what that boy was always doing. I think deeply. What does makes the floor looks so good that he can't take his look away from it. I said into my mind.
      Again, I moved my feet playfully this time which are hanging in the chasm and wondered again–not because why Zeke left me but instead why does this boy looked so familiar and why am I even thinking of him? Why do I seem interested on this boy? I haven't moved on yet because it can't be, why would it be this fast if I really did? I can't be attracted at first sight. There's is no love at first bump and take note, I almost fell–fell into the chasm. I can't be happy about meeting him.

       It's a war of what's inside me so I just let out a sigh and though hesitating, I let myself be. I can't unthink of him now.