Love before blood (Uriah and Zeke of Divergent FF/SMUT)

Chapter 2

I am now sitting in the pit, I just finished my food which is the legendary dauntless cake. I closed my eyes, I must have eaten too much that it somehow hurts my stomach and makes me feel bloated. Eating never felt this good but maybe that is just because I've been too down these past few days and never realized that eating was my best escape.

        "Hey kid! Get back here, do your assigned chore!" An instructor shouted to an initiate who was about to leave the pit. His shout didn't create an echo in the pit for there are more louder voices that surrounds him. His voice was just swallowed by the noise filling this pit. But, I don't know why it made me look at that direction. I was used to that especially because we all know that the initiation happens annually but it still got my attention. I scan the crowd and find myself looking for him. The one who got mad at me because I called him kid. 

      It triggered a thought in my mind. It itches in the back of my head which makes me almost desperate to take him out of my senses but I can't. I can see his brown hair and tanned skin like he's still in front of me. Even his reactions and cute—damn, I promised myself to forget that boy I met above the chasm once I leave that place. But, he's just another proof of the quote "promises are made to be broken".

       Fuck. I really need to regain my focus. Focus on anything except that boy. But it's too difficult, I can't think of anything deep to think of right now except for Zeke; I hope this would help. This means thinking and thinking of him until I get tired of thinking him. Maybe the only way I have left to forget him is to think.

        So just to forget that boy as well as Zeke—I am left with no choice but to fight fire with fire except for the thought that it will benefit me—I think of Zeke though I can already feel the bitterness dwelling inside me in just a picture of him in my mind. But I continue, I let myself be preoccupied by the memories I had with Zeke. Then it hit me; how his genuine smile and how serious he was when he told me how much he loves me, made me feel. I can't help but to miss him. I also miss the feeling of  being loved.

          Over time, I did identify that some parts of me miss him and some other parts hate him for leaving me hanging. But most parts are hate. I also hate that even though I met this boy, I miss Zeke and it's confusing me. I think deeper and realized there's only one thing that is for sure—everything that is happening now is too fast-pacing. I got hurt badly just last week because of Zeke then now, I'm like 'attracted'  to some boy?

I brushed a trail of fallen food debris on my lap. It's been hours since I sat here, right after I left the chasm—where I sat and think deeply like what I'm just doing here in the pit—so definitely my body got used just by sitting around. I tried to stood as straight as possible and balanced my weight. I leaned on the table for support then took a heavy step out of the long table's seat and headed my way to dorm where I temporarily stay. I am required to stay there to serve as scout during the initiation. My role is to watch over if someone skipped the training; a training that will start tomorrow.

            I stopped in front of the drinking fountain to quench my thirst. I've walked a long way from pit and there's another tiring way to go so water must be necessary by now. While drinking, I heard his voice—the one I met over the chasm—along the hallway. It sounded a bit far, almost a whisper, to the point that my heart's beating even became louder than it. I still tried my best to eavesdrop.

         "Shh! Ok ok, I get it. Tomorrow it is then. I got to go. I will escape as unnoticeable as possible." It is his voice. The voice he had when he got mad only this time it's muffled. Seconds after, I heard light and careful footsteps pounding against the floor. It is as quick as the sound that dissipated in this wide hallway.

Thoughts that it may not be him flooded me but no, I'm sure of it. I'm confident that it's how his voice sounds. My head suddenly throbs from what's flooding it and my heart leaped as I turned my back. I find nothing after my eyes search in this dimly lighted hallway. He is gone. For now and maybe tomorrow also because he just said that he would be gone during the training. Wait—training? So that makes him a trainee I'm supposed to keep an eye on.

         I'm still in between processing what just happened and what I'm gonna do about it. Will I follow him to caught him in the act or just cover it up at first then talk to him after? My thoughts contradict each other.

       Finally, after I don't know how many minutes standing in front of the fountain, thinking. I decided to go to the washroom to shape myself into a better form before going back. 

       The washroom is occupied by no one but me so I locked myself inside. I let my eyes fall and rise, observing the dimly-lit room filled with toilets that are horizontally arranged, guarded with doors and divided by thinly built walls. I walked into the little space between the doors and the faucet. I look at my face on the mirror. I didn't looked like this weeks ago. Looking more closely, I notice that beneath my each of my eyes; falls under my eyelashes is a darker shade of my skin which is a form of a convex. I must be that stressed out. What did love do to me? 

          I still have a long way to walk so I decided to better start walking. The water from the faucet feels cold on my face so I focused on that relaxing feeling, ignoring the exhausting walk. After some minutes, I reached the dorm's door. I put my hand on the knob and twist it. The room has a few lights on. I checked my watch. It's only 7:30pm, no doubt there's no one else here. They still might be somewhere celebrating for tomorrow will bring loads of works to do. They invited me but I don't want to because I'm tired and Zeke would be there. I'm still not mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to see him. I might run into him and punch his face. But I'd be a liar if I don't admit that I'm not thinking what would it be like to be there and be happy. At this moment maybe Four, Shauna and Zeke—my thoughts were interrupted when there was a sudden movement; a creak coming from a bed like someone just adjusted himself from it. I stand and prepare myself for an assault like what the Dauntless instincts are telling me.

              I walk carefully to where the sound came from, my hands on the chest level to cover my face from a punch if there will be. The lights above flickered on his direction which lead me to see his face. I quickly froze that my mouth hung open. I tried to blink his image away and maybe, this is just another simulation but no, he didn't fade away so I started to panic internally. Still it feels wrong. Maybe because tonight, he's not with his best bud, Four. So, that made me realize about my wrong conclusion. He wasn't out there celebrating there like what he's been known to do because he's here. And, now I am paralyzed with shock, I didn't see this moment coming. After weeks of not seeing his face? He's right in front of me and there's only the two of us in this room. I wasn't ready for this.

               "I have been waiting for you." He said, sitting on the bed with his two hand by his sides flat on the bed supporting his weight and his slight body is a little bent like he has a imaginary backrest, then a little smile appeared on his face. Though the light keeps on flickering it didn't keep him from looking different. He's still handsome like he was, even in a dark room. With that distinct features, pointed nose, hair that has the same color of the wood under the best weather you can have, perfect jawline, no one can probably resist... No, this is making me take back what I intended to do; punch him when I see him but I think I attacking him now would be perfectly out of sense. His mere presence left me immobile here that I can't even move my feet right now. The room is quietly still and air that surrounds me awhile ago just left.

"Zeke," was the only word I can mutter before the only air betrayed my lungs.