starboy. kth x myg / taegi

dying

taehyung woke up the next morning covered in blankets and pillows, bright light streaming in through the window.

he squinted, trying to adjust to the light as he sat up, swinging his thin legs over the side of the bed and standing up slowly. he made his way into the living room to see yoongi on the couch, curled up under blankets. taehyung sighed and padded into the kitchen, looking for something that he could make for breakfast.

he settled for the instant oatmeal that was shoved into a cabinet in the corner, setting it down on the coffee table in front of yoongi once it was done.

"hey, yoongs."

yoongi's eyes fluttered open, face ghastly pale as he rubbed his cheek.

"you made breakfast?"

"just some instant oatmeal."

"where's yours?"

taehyung bit his lip.

"not hungry."

yoongi raised his eyebrows, lip pouting.

"all you ate yesterday was the slice of pizza i gave you."

"and the fries jimin gave me."

"that's barely anything, kid," yoongi sighed, running a hand through taehyung's hair gently. "i'll make you some oatmeal too. you can't starve."

yoongi sat up, ambling into the kitchen, and taehyung stood up after him, following his path.

"yoongs, i'm not starving. i'll eat something tonight."

"starboy," yoongi muttered. "why won't you eat? you ate yesterday, hell, you even told me you were hungry." his tone of voice screamed with exasperation.

"because i was hungry," taehyung said. "i don't usually eat a lot, okay? i just can't stomach a lot at once."

"bullshit."

"i can't eat at home even if i wanted to, goddamnit. i'm just not used to eating, alright?" taehyung wrapped his lithe fingers around yoongi's wrist, pulling him closer with a desperate look in his dark brown eyes. "so please, just let this go. i'll eat later, hm?"

yoongi almost cried out at the frustration filling his lungs, but when taehyung pulled him back into the living room and sat him down on the couch, yoongi picked up the spoon and ate, worry chewing at his heart as he eyed taehyung's small frame.

something about taehyung looked like neglect; the way his thick, worn clothes swallowed his bones and the skin pulled tightly over them, and how he always looked wary of his surroundings. his eyes would dart left and right with an irrational urgency, and he was restless, either chewing his nails or pulling at his own skin until it bled.

"is it safe at home?"

yoongi didn't know what hit him, what pushed the words from his throat.

maybe it was just concern, or panic, or maybe it was just watching taehyung lose his way and be so neglected that he learned to neglect himself. maybe it was just everything all at once, piling up in his chest and pushing the words from him because there wasn't enough room anymore.

"safer than the streets, i suppose."

"you suppose?"

"it's fine."

but it's not.

"starboy, why do you worry me so much?"

yoongi set down his spoon, searching for any emotion left in taehyung's eyes.

"you don't need to worry."

please worry about me.

please help me.

"are you going to go back home today?"

taehyung only nodded, throat constricting with anxiety.

yoongi reached over, holding taehyung's hand, eyes milling over the cuts that peeked over the boy's sleeve, too organized, too well planned, too clean to be accidental.

"starboy," yoongi said. "i saw stars in your eyes when i first saw you. but why are they all dying?"

"i was mad drunk when you first saw me," taehyung replied, a pained smile gracing his features. "the stars are only alive when i'm mad drunk."

"could i bring the stars back to life again?"

"can people ever bring stars back to life?"

"i'm talking about your stars."

taehyung shrugged, apprehensive.

"everything comes to cessation eventually," taehyung said. "something dead can't come back to life, yoongs." a beat, a breath, something in his head tugging the words from his mouth with a string. taehyung wondered to himself what it was that was pulling the string. "but maybe you can create new stars for me."

"that sounds like a good idea," yoongi said. "but what are your stars?"

what are my stars?

taehyung hesitated, unsure himself.

"me."

"you?"

"and hope for myself," he said. his eyes glistened bright for brief moment, and maybe, just maybe yoongi could see the ephemeral glimpse of the stars that were still alive. "my stars die when i'm hopeless."

"you're hopeless, starboy?"

"i am."

and the stars were dead, swallowed within the celestial space in his eyes with austerity that pushed needles into yoongi's chest, suffocating him, killing him with a new kind of pain he had never known.

"you know starboy, stars form when it's cold," yoongi said. "it's so cold outside, but why are your stars dying?"

"you tell me, yoongs," taehyung murmured. "i don't want them to die." his eyes were wet with tears.

why am i crying?

why the fuck am i crying?

taehyung swallowed audibly, seeming to swallow sobs too.

"yoongi, why are my stars dying?"

yoongi just held taehyung's hand tighter, because he really didn't know either.