[BTS-RAPMONSTER] Without The Love

Pt. 1

Sitting on the cold sofa, you stared at the door as the clock ticked in the background. With each tick that the minute hand made, you felt closer to coming undone. You wanted to let loose and let go for once. You wanted to cry your heart out. You wanted to hit something until your knuckles bled.

Where had you both gone wrong? It seemed perfectly fine just this morning and now... Everything was in pieces. You were in pieces. Tonight, you had witness your boyfriend, Namjoon cheating on you. You had gone to see the underground rap battle that he was raving about, that he couldn't wait for, in hopes to see him perform. Well, you saw him alright, but what you saw wasn't him performing his rapping skills on stage. What you saw was him sliding his tongue down another girl's throat and his hands all over her body as she pulled him closer into her. You wanted to confront them right there and then, but how could you? You weren't the confrontational type and you didn't want to cause a scene. So you had left. Left like the loser you were and went back to the gloomy apartment that you both shared.

Where had you both gone wrong?

The question lingered in your mind. When? Where? How did it turn like this? Your head dropped as you buried your head into your hands. Hot tears poured out and stung your cold cheeks. Why? Why did this have to happen?

The door opened.

"Y/N?" you heard Namjoon say.

You wiped away your silly tears and looked up at him. His cheeks were flushed pink and his button up shirt were buttoned in the wrong places. You could see the leftover mark of some sort of lipstick on his neck and his collar bone and his fly was open. A little string of red hung from his jacket. That was it.

"Where have you been?" you asked him silently.

"I was out at the rap battle. I told you. Why?" he answered back normally.

Okay. So he didn't lie... Yet.

"What were you doing?"

"Y/N, it's a rap battle, therefore I was rapping, duh," he said as he rolled his eyes at you.

"Really now?" your voice cracked.

"What's wrong Y/N? Are you crying?" he asked as he walked towards you. As he was about to cup your cheek, you drew back and shook your head no.

"Don't touch me," you whispered, your eyes never leaving his.

"What's wrong Y/N? Why are you being like this?" he asked again as his brows burrowed in confusion.

"Don't fucking touch me Namjoon!" you said as you reached out and grabbed onto the red thong he was hiding in his pocket.

"Y/N! What the fuck?!" Namjoon growled back as he lunged for the stupid piece of crap fabric.

"Yeah, you were rapping right? Well tell me what the fuck is this?! Is this the prize you got for winning?" you sneered as you held the thong in front of his face.

He tried to grab it but you pulled it back.

"Goddamn it, give it back to me Y/N! It isn't yours!" he bellowed.

"Of course it ain't mine sherlock, I don't need your stupid IQ 148 to figure that out, I saw you with her you dumbass!" you screamed back.

Namjoon's face paled as you mentioned the unknown female. "How.."

"I came to see you. I wanted to see my boyfriend perform so I got off work early just to come see you but I guess you were busing seeing someone else," you said as the tears came back pouring out. You handed him the thong and he took it with his head held down.

"How long... How long Namjoon. Or was it just now?" you asked afraid of the answer.

"Since 3 months ago..." he whispered back.

You heart dropped and you felt your body go numb. Three months... You had been unaware of it all.

"Why...."

"I don't know... I was just... Going crazy I guess...."

You cried some more. Crazy. What a dumb excuse.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, let me-" he said as you walked away to the bedroom to gather your things.

"Y/N! Listen to me! We can fix this if we both try! You just gotta give me another chance! I promise I'll make everything right! I'm sorry!" he begged you as he followed you.

You wiped away the tears that were blocking your vision as you threw all your belongings into your gym bag. There wasn't much anyways. Namjoon continued to protest in the back as you proceed to grab your things and jam them in.

"Y/N, please I'm begging you. Please, we can work it out, this is just a little small bump, we can make it past this if you just let me work it out with you!" he said.

"For a supposedly smart man with an IQ of 148, you're lacking in the love department Namjoon... Cheating is never a small bump," you said as you zipped up your bag and stood up.

You walked past him as he trailed after you. When you reached the front door, he grabbed onto your hand and pinned you to the wall, looking into your eyes, tears threatening to pour out of his own.

"Please Y/N.." he whispered.

You closed your eyes as you whispered softly "No."

He pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, not letting go and you held him back not wanting him to let go either.

"I'm sorry, it's that... I love you... But you don't love me. And if you do love me, it isn't enough because you had the heart to go share yourself with another person," you cried.

He cried into your shoulder as his arms held you tighter. You kissed him lightly on the cheeks as you pushed him away from you.

"Good luck with rapping... You'll do well," you murmured as you gave him one last look and opened the door and left.