Julien watches as the Skipper paces up and down the hallway, muttering curses underneath his breath. Or at least, he watches what he thinks he can see from the small gap in the doors of the closet. A large wardrobe was placed against the wall opposite the stairs, giving Julien the perfect opportunity to climb inside whenever he wanted and spy on his neighbours.
The shorter man stops, he turns his head towards the closet, and for a terrifying moment Julien thinks that Skipper's spotted him. But no, he just shakes his head and continues pacing. Julien lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
Then the door at the end of the hallway, the one where the soldiers live, slams open and Julien jumps in alarm, making him hit his head on the coat rail. He rubs his perfectly quaffed hair gently, looking for a bump, quietly swearing in his native language.
"Fils de pute."
But his attention is drawn away when he hears some commotion outside. From what he can hear, the smarty-pants tall soldier has made some sort of serum. That was what Skipper was pacing for.
"Kowalski I command you, as your leader and friend, DESTROY THAT BLOODY THING NOW!" he yells, the vein in his head throbbing dangerously. There's a gasp and a whimper, though Julien can't tell if it's from Kowalski or the cute, short soldier.
"Never! Skipper, you don't understand what this could do to our bodies!" Kowalski tells him, sounding a bit put-off.
"Don't know, don't care. Rico?" There's an ugly retching noise, and a scarred hand gives Skipper a chainsaw.
'Oh please,' Julien criticises to himself, 'how would a chainsaw get rid of a serum? You should have just thrown it away.'
But Skipper, thankfully, didn't hear Julien and starts up the chainsaw, making his way out of Julien line of view and presumably towards Kowalski.
"Skipper, no!" Kowalski screams. There's the sound of thudding footsteps, and a slamming door. The chainsaw's turned off.
"Damn it, we almost had 'im." Skipper grumbles, and then probably gives the chainsaw back to Rico, because there's a gagging nose, and then someone swallows.
The (probably) three remaining soldiers have a quick discussion amongst themselves, too quiet for Julien to hear. He leans further against the cupboard door, before it breaks under his weight and throws itself open. Julien lands against the floor with a *thump*, squeezing his eyes shut tight against the pain.
"Ringtail!" Skipper shouts, and something heavy is hit against his ribs. Julien groans loudly, and rolls over clutching his side.
"Err, Skipper?" The Private asks, sounding concerned. "Maybe we shouldn't kick him. It looks like he's in a lot of pain."
There's a grunt, and a what sounds like them stepping back. Julien blinks slightly, trying to push back the tears that are threatening to spill, before opening his eyes wearily.
The three soldiers are standing over him, in their usual suits and orange shoes. Skipper's watching him with disgust and anger, no different form usual then. Private's looking worried, holding his hands against his chest in worry. And Rico just looks confused.
Ignoring the pain, which feels like a dozen punches to his ribcage, Julien leaps to his feet and beams wildly.
"'ello flightless birdy's." He grins, fighting the urge to hold his side. That kick will definitely leave a bruise. Skipper's eye twitches in annoyance.
"For the last time Ringtail, a penguin is a rank in the army!" Private shuffles forward uncertainly.
"Um, I don't mean to be rude Julien. But shouldn't you know that? You being a king and all?" Skipper and Rico high-five each other, as if he's just thought up the sickest burn ever.
"Yeah, Ringtail! Shouldn't you know that?" Skipper leers, and Julien feels his hand curl into a fist.
"Ha ha, of course!" he fixes his crown back onto his head where it was slipping. "We just have different names for them."
Skipper rolls his eyes, like he's some kind of idiot.
'Because it's not like I speak another language or anything, is it?!' Julien thinks angrily, but pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind.
"Well flightless birds," he enjoys watching Skipper splutter in disbelief, "It has been fun, but I have to go now!"
He almost gets away, if not for Private's inquisitive nature.
"Err, Julien?" He asks, and the king skids to a halt, just beside the stairs.
'So close.' "Yes, small one?"
Private looks down at his feet, and clears his throat. Julien just taps his fingers impatiently against the banister.
"What were you doing in the cupboard?" Julien stiffens slightly, and he grips the banisters tightly.
"Wh- I was- err-" He stumbles over his words, trying to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound as creepy as 'I was spying in you because your lives are way more interesting than mine.'
"I was doing the yoga!" He declares, and for a moment it looks like they're not going to buy it.
Julien saunters over, purposely putting in some extra swivel in his hips, and stands by the cupboard. He places one hand on the side and, with little difficulty, bends over to touch his black-painted toes. He holds that pose for a second, before he sees Skipper morale start to break, and the bossy bird leans over, checking out Julien's short clad booty.
"But thanking the Sky Spirits," Julien stood back up, placing one hand on his hip provocatively. "I am out of the closet now."
Skipper blushes profusely, while Rico laughs behind him. Private just looks confused.
"What does-" he begins to ask, before Skipper slaps a hand over his mouth.
"Nothing! He doesn't mean anything!" He shouts, as if yelling will distract him from Julien's sultry gaze.
"Well, Bubye silly birds." and he turns and saunters away, like a model on a catwalk. Skipper doesn't even stop to correct him.
Julien walks up the remaining stairs until he's out of eyeshot, and sprints the rest of the way up to the highest floor. His smile vanishes as he runs, like a lightbulb being switched off. And when he gets to his door, he slams it shut behind him, and escapes into his room, careful to turn the 'Do Not Disturb' sign around.
Julien slides down against the door, until he's sitting cross-legged on the carpet. He sighs loudly and places his head in his hands.
That wasn't the first time he's had to use his sexuality to get him out of something.
