A thin line between love and hate (Lesbian Edition)

Confused

Anaya
It's been 2 weeks since I've been gone. I up and left for my so called "business trip" but really and truthfully I'm out in San Diego clearing my head. Sometimes I sit back and think to myself what made Christina cheat on me. And out of all the people in the world she sleeps with my Bestfriend Kayla is like a sister to me. I don't understand that girl. I give her the fucking world ! Anything she ask for I give it to her with no complaints! I'll give my life for this girl but she wouldn't give a fuck.  The day I caught her and Kayla fucking in "MY" house I was going to propose to her. That all went down hill. I have mad love for Christina but what she has done fucked me up on many ways. Christina keeps blowing up my phone and I refuse to pick up. I don't want to talk to her at all. We barely talk to each other and we stay in the same apartment together. We don't even have sex anymore. I always think about touching her but every time I want to I picture her getting those back shots from Kayla. The shit is wild man. I'm confused on if I should call off our relationship or stay. We've tried to work it out but it seems like we are strangers to each other instead of lovers and best friends. I've been texting a new girl but I don't feel right doing it so I stopped texting her. My heart belongs to Christina and I'm stuck. She's been there for me since day one and helped me out of crazy situations. Trust me I'm no saint. When I was trapping she was there, when I got locked up multiple times she was there bailing me out and she was there when my mother died from cancer. She just stayed holding me up but now she weighing me down. I think I'll go home today and take her shopping, out to eat and then to the movies. Decisions, decisions.