Dear Diary / h.s

Entry 18

So sorry I haven't updated! School sucks so blame them, I also found out that more homework is what makes 85% of teens in America stressed! IN YOUR FACE TEACHERS. And that keeping you after class for punishment means teachers are breaking a law! BAHAHAHA

BUT ITS SPRING BREAK! MORE CHAPTERS.

But this is the last chapter, sorry guys. 

~

Dear Diary, 

"You have 2 days," Those words from the doctor is what killed Harry and me deep inside. We both felt like we took a knife straight through the heart, and not even caring what the outcome would be of two in love adults.

I am weaker, and I can barely go to the bathroom without help from Harry, who has been sitting in the wooden, uncomfortable chair and has been sitting there with me, holding my hands watching corny movies off Netflix.

The hospital is really nice- at times, sometimes they won't stop bugging you and they keep taunting you to eat even though the last thing on my mind is food. I'm going to die anyways, so who really cares, am I correct?

Nothing really matters if you have someone that loves you with all there heart, and for me that specific person was Harry.

He was my everything, and was always there for me. I've said this so many times, and it's turning cliche, but it's true. 

The doctor had said those words exactly 24 hours ago and I can feel my body slowly giving out. 

I had already said my goodbyes to everyone, and right now I'm sitting in my hospital bed with chapped lips, pale face, and my eyes blankly staring at the ceiling. Harry is by my side and rubbing small circles on the back of my hand. 

By the time anybody reads this, I will be dead. Gone, and Harry would be staring at this wanting to extremely badly read this. 

But I am in a better place now, and I can assure you of that. I am in heaven, my cancer is cured and I am living a happy life watching over Harry. 

I hope he looks down on my grave of happiness, and remembers the amazing memories we had together. Our first date, how he asked me out, and just our beautiful lives. 

Beep-beep- my heart monitor is getting slower and slower and my hand is getting weak to the point where I'm barely holding the pen in my hands to write this. 

I just laughed at one of Harry's corny, funny knock knock jokes. I will miss that about him and how he would always make me laugh because of how stupid it was. 

I never fully understood the reason or where he got tho jokes in the first place. Maybe he has some sort of book that he reads every night? No, he doesn't read. Maybe he get's it form someone? NO, his only friends are the boys and they are just as stupid as Harry.

I just asked him where he gets his jokes from and he said, and I quote: 

"They are all original by the one and only; Harry Styles." And smirks. 

I laugh way to hard at that, probably more then I should have. Well that explains why the jokes are basically, well... crap. 

Say Something has been on repeat in my head, and i just can't get it out. I relates so much to this story and I literally cry every time I hear it. It's scary how much it's so relatable, and Harry told me that he will never look at the song the same again. 

They have a concert a week from now, and they all told me that they are going to sing Say Something as a tribute to me, but I doubt that they will ever get through the song without me. 

I never gave Louis a chance to get closure, I never will forgive him. What he did was un called for and he deserves to live with a grief of what he did to Emily Roberts. 

Just remember that you are all beautiful in your own way, you have so much to live for, you have people who love you with all their heart, and mostly you always have me.

I don'y even know you but I tried to respond to every comment on Twitter saying that they don't like themselves, and I try to accomplish my goal and respond to that and follow them, to tell them that they have a life to live for. 

I think I follow around 20,000 people, and more than half of them were because they had tweeted me that they want to kill themselves, and I just respond with a simple "I love you, and your not worthless" and follow them. 

I think most of them actually listen to me while the others just used it to get a follow but I don't care. I get death threats because what famous person doesn't, but I ignore them and continue moving on with my life because haters aren't worth my time. 

If it is really hurtful, yes I will cry but Harry would hug me and make me feel better, knowing my past he didn't want me going back down the dangerous past and do something that all of us would regret greatly. 

I can't believe this is it, I'm going to die. I will be gone and Harry would be crying over my grave and putting flowers down every single day. 

It will be like I never existed, there was no memory of Emily Roberts here, and will leave my life with a perfect boyfriend, a perfect life, and most of all a real family. 

Not a fake one like my first life, not the second one where my mom had just played the poor guys, this one; Harry, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn. They were now my perfect family and I have to leave them, to go to a grave deep down in the dirt. 

This is goodbye. 

"Emily! Stay with me, your going to be okay!" Harry yells as a tear runs down his face while putting a gas mask on my face when my eyes are closing shut. 

"Doctor! I'm not ready, please save her." He sobs. 

"I'm sorry." The doctor says and Harry hold my hands and slips a ring on and then kissed my forehead and whispers,

"I love you, forever and always." And I whisper the same thing back before everything goes black and my heart stops. 

Love, 

Emily Amelia Robert & Harry Edward Styles

~

This is the end, she died but the had some last words the ring was a promise, they not even the heavens can separate them. 

I cried, so hard. I'm an emotional girl! 

Epilogue is going to be out TONIGHT OR MONDAY. WATCH OUT. 

See you, 

~Grace (: