Short Stories and other tales

Afterlove

All I ever did was pray for love
With all my shattered heart;
Always aimed for those stars above
But also crashed back to earth.

We found each other when hope was lost,
Opened my heart to you, you stitched my wounds,
Yet I forgot what love was and cost,
Ignoring the signs and all my moods.

I finally got to believe I did things right,
Worries and bruises washed away
Every single time you were in sight;
I swear I could die here, I may.

Now I have no goal and I've let you down,
But I keep hearing you're alright,
While every one of my smiles is turned into a frown,
I swear I could die here, I might.

I swore to myself I'd grow to be a strong lady
Who wouldn't depend on any man,
But I held on to you tightly and went crazy,
It wasn't my plan, but you became my new one.

Tell me, how can I ever love again with you on my mind?
How can I tell stars from clouds,
How can I tell deaf from blind?
Might as well sew my own shroud.

I love you and that's all I know,
It's like I forgot how to walk and started to run,
It's like the sun within vanished and it started to snow;
Feels like a slide without all the fun.

I wish I could say it's only temporary,
That I'll wake up and see you there,
Life would suddenly turn less blurry,
And rain be blown away with this nightmare.

I can't grieve, I can't mourn
The love I've lost selfishly,
I'm back at staring at couples with scorn,
And turning away from happiness so painfully.

Wish I could cup your face one last time
And swear to you I regret it all,
That if loving you became a crime,
Then I'd be glad to be thrown in a cell and crawl.

Please, tell me you care,
Your silence makes me question this whole year,
Tell me the words that I can't bear,
Just speak; I may start to cheer.

You know I didn't mean to leave,
And that I loathed the situation I withdrew in,
But now all we've built makes me grieve,
As I realise now it's nothing but a ruin.