praise the footballers

intro

Maya: *bursts through door of footballers' joint apartment*

Erik Durm: *facepalms table*

Mateo Kovacić: *groans*

Not her again!

Maya: *gives him the evil eye*

Aren't you just married? If I were you I'd be moaning now, not groaning.

*winks at camera*

Marco Asensio: *rolls eyes*

Just get on with what you have to say, I have to beat Saúl in Mario Kart, it's getting annoying.

Saúl Ñíguez: *pouts as lower lip starts to wobble*

I thought you loved me, Marcinio.

Fernando Torres: *jumps from behind couch*

*slaps Marco*

GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND.

Maya: *eyes go wide*

O—kayyy... I have to tell y'all something...

*squeals and claps hands*

I have started this book to praise y'all!

Tiago Mendes: *smiles like the fucking angel he is*

Meaning?

Maya: *melts under his stare*

I-I-I'll be saying positive things about you guys. What I love about each and every one of you, even if I hate you guys, and I'll be accepting requests of names for me to praise—BUT I COULD NEVER HATE YOU TIAGO!

Tiago: *smiles blindingly bright*

Maya: *faints*

Marco Reus: *whispering in Mario Götze's ears*

How long was that?

Mario Götze: *peers at watch*

Two minutes and ten seconds.

Emre Mor: *snorts before sipping cola*

Better than last time, she only lasted thirty seconds in front of Tiago's beauty before dropping to the floor.

🍂🍂🍂