Gwen collapses on the floor inside their room. They had just made up and then this. Was the universe trying to tear them apart because it sure feels like it. Gwen hears the knock on the door but she isn't in the place to talk to anyone so she stays where she is on the floor. She hears the door click open but doesn't bother to even look up.
"Gwen? Honey what happened?" Patti asks sitting down on the edge of the bed in front of Gwen. Once Gwen knows it's her mom she gets up off the floor and crawls into her moms arms. "Shhhh sweetheart. Calm down we will figure it out." She cries so hard there is no way she could talk, so Patti waits holding her daughter till she calms enough to talk.
"Gwen what happened?"
"I screwed up mom, so bad this time. I don't think he is ever gonna forgive me."
"Baby I can't help until you tell me what's going on."
"Before they removed my tumor and everything, I had them retrieve my eggs and freeze them. I wanted to have the option to kids of my own even if I couldn't carry them myself. From day one with Blake I have told him there is no way for us to have a baby together. They just called to renew the contract I had and to confirm that I added Blake to the authorized personnel list."
"Gwen why didn't you tell him Gwen?"
"I don't know. Honestly I thought he would be opposed to it and make me unfreeze them. I wasn't ready for that yet."
"Gwen you have to stop treating him like he's Tony or Gavin. You have a wonderful man who loves you more than life itself. You have to stop hiding things from him. He isn't gonna bolt at every little thing. Believe in him. Believe in you together."
"He wants kids of his own so bad and I knew that. Yet I told him there was no way possible, and then he finds out this way. I really was gonna tell him just not now we have so much going on. I lost him this time didn't I?"
"No I don't think so honey. That man loves you and your daughter too much to walk away. I'm not saying he isn't gonna be hurt or upset for a while but you can't just turn love off like that."
They can hear Lena crying and it getting louder until they hear the knock on the door and see Jen sticking her head in through the crack.
"Hey Lena is really upset and she wants you."
Gwen gets up out of her mom's arms and walks to the door to get her little girl. That's the thing about becoming a mom, you and your feelings are not the priority anymore. That little girl trumps all else. As soon as Lena is in her arms nothing else in the world matters her baby is upset and it's her job as mommy to fix that.
"Mommy." Lena cries tucking her neck into the crook of Gwen's neck.
"Shhh baby it's ok. Mommy is right here. I'm not going anywhere without you." Gwen reassures while rubbing up and down her back.
"I want daddy." She says through sniffles
"Daddy went out for a little bit. He will be back." Gwen says wishfully looking at her mom "do you want to lay down on mommy's bed with me and watch tv?" The little girl sat up to look at Gwen shaking her head yes. "Ok baby."
Gwen and Lena crawl into bed. Lena lays down with her head on Gwen's chest cuddled all up. This action alone helps calm Gwen. Having her baby with her just laying there makes Gwen feel like she is in a capsule. Here she is blocked off from all the troubles that life brings and she is able to stop and take comfort in the unconditional love from her daughter.
