My coming out as transgender letter to my aunt

The letter

A/N: so this is the letter i wrote my aunt. i will also write a little update when i give her the letter, and when she reads it and her reaction. so yea. wish me luck.

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So i know what you're probably wondering right now, "why is Taylor giving me a letter and running away?" well before i get to that i want you to know that i know you said already that you will love me for me no matter what but chances are i'm gonna need you to read this, take the night to sleep on it and think about this letter, and come back to me tomorrow on this because even though i know you are going to love me no matter what, it took me all of my courage and will just to type and hand you this.Please don't come up to me tonight and talk about this because i have to work through things mentally. Feel free to talk to me tomorrow about it because i will be willing to answer questions and stuff.

Note: the reason i don't want to talk about it tonight is all related to me. its not because of you in any way, shape, or form. It is about the way my MIND sees things and the way i THINK about things.

Now that we have that settled, here i go.

I know now that i was supposed to be a man and i have known since i was 16. By known i mean i realized that all my life i had these feelings but i hid them or i didn't quite understand them and so i just assumed "oh all little girls want to be little boys!" kinda how i assumed everyone personified numbers and letters, or i assumed all families had parents that would yell at each other all the time. I thought wrong

I felt weird being a girl and i could never put it into words and as a child i never told mommy, daddy, and you guys because, at least i think, i was afraid of getting into trouble and let's be reasonable here. If you were a young child and your dad would always yell at you for nothing and you were afraid to tell CPS that you lived in a roach trap because you were afraid of being shipped off to a drug dealer, or an asshole who was worse, wouldn't you be afraid of getting into trouble? I actually don't know but hey thats because i haven't walked in your shoes, well without claiming that there mine and steal them from you.

And i'm pretty sure you don't want to walk in my stinky ass shoes. We both know those last shoes STANK LIKE DEATH! (A/N: i usually "borrow" her shoes and i never give them back because they end up stinky.)

Well anyway! Let's get back on topic.

When i was a child i also tried to hide these feelings because that's what the media told me to do. I'm talking about the "you gotta be skinny and have a big ass and big boobs yo" parts of the media. The parts of the media that told me "you have girl parts, therefore you are a girl". As a young child i acted "girly ish" (ish because you know i was a tomboy) because THAT'S what i was SUPPOSED to do to fit in. (being overweight, stinky, and a cry baby was another story that is totally off topic but we know happened.)

All i wanted to do was to fit in and if fitting in meant hiding who i was then i was totally fine with that.

Flash forward to high school. High school was okay, besides me flunking out (which i'm working on that) and my friend dying, oh and assholes who would just.... STAND IN THE GODDAMN HALL WHILE I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO GET TO CLASS.... Ok it wasn't all that great but it was a lot better than my childhood and i had resources that i didn't have before to problems i didn't know i had. For my first year of highschool i grew more and more uncomfortable.

I didn't know why until i came across my friends (friend # 1) (who i haven't talked to in a while) and my friend (friend # 2) (witch i believe only thinks of me as an acquaintance but that's totally fine with me). They kinda opened my eyes on the matter. At that point i knew something was up, something's not right i don't think i'm who i say i am, who i believed i was for the longest time and then after a while i realized.

I don't think i'm supposed to be female.

It was hard to battle the thoughts that would tell me "you're faking it" and the ones that would tell me "you're not female" ESPECIALLY because, even though some "girly" things bother me, i liked some "girly" things. I was in a trance of i don't know or non-binary for a time until i met (best friend)

Before i continue here is the definition for non-binary (straight off of google)

non·bi·na·ry

ˌnänˈbīnərē/

adjective

adjective: non-binary

1.

not relating to, composed of, or involving just two things.

"Aristotelian ontology is nonbinary on the second level in that it allows for degrees of being"

denoting or relating to a gender or sexual identity that is not defined in terms of traditional binary oppositions such as male and female or homosexual and heterosexual.

"nonbinary people are vastly underrepresented in the media"

(best friend) was the first friend of mine to really show me that i could be a man that likes "feminine" things. He was the first to show me that i can be loud and proud and MAN but still go out in a dress. He was the first friend who made me realize that gender roles suck and that no one can tell you who to be. I'm very grateful for (best friend) because without him i wouldn't have told you this.

So after reading this letter, like i said earlier, please take time and sleep on this. I'm not trying to be rude but i need to take some time to prepare myself and i'm sure you do as well. If you want we can call (cousin), mommy, daddy, (my mom and dads girlfriend), and (sister and husband) and them for a little sit down and i can tell them myself but I need to tell them myself. It's something that i want them to hear from my own mouth, and it's something i feel needs to be said from my mouth. What i would like tomorrow is for you to just give me a hug and tell me it's alright. What i also need from you is to please put an effort into using my preferred pronouns (he/him) and my new name.

My name is Tyler Marie, not Taylor Marie. The reason i want to change my first name is because the name Taylor, for me at least, is filled with negative things about myself. That name reminds me that i was born a girl and i don't want to be reminded of it. The reason my middle name Marie isn't going to be changed is because it is something i share with my mother and at this moment i'm not willing to change it. If i do change it i will let you know and it will be to Leon.(my fathers middle name)also know that nothing will change about me besides my gender and my willingness to do things because i will be a lot happier being who i was meant to be. A man.

Ahah so this letter was long. I'm sorry about that and i'm sorry for putting this on you but it has to be said. Anyway, i love you and i'm so glad you are my aunt (even though we fight sometimes) have a good night's sleep

Love you

Your Nephew Tyler