Dear Love,
You know, you accompanied me since the beginning. From the first minute, which I inhaled, I felt you wrapping me and reassuring me. I didn't knew that it was you at this point of my life.
That it was you who creates those nice feelings when you receives an hug from mom or dad, or even my brother. I didn't know because I was a fresh newborn. Sometimes, I say to myself that I would have preferred to remain for ever this small baby. Ignoring the enjoyments which you get us, Love, and the sadnesses which you leaves us.
I met you a few times in High School. You were at the time my friend, and my secret. I had always felt you in the same way. But one day, I had to meet a guy who embodied you. He had to put your mask, Love. He enjoyed playing with you. And with me. I let me believed in you, for the first time...
You made me believe innocently that what I felt, he felt it as strong as me, too. Of course it was a beautiful dream. And I fell off my cloud pretty quickly. You had hurt me pretty badly, Love.
So, I made myself a promise. A huge promise. Never again would I let you hurt me. I was going to surround myself with you, at least a nice kind of you, Love.
I've been pretty great for mostly 3 years, without the toughest type of you. And so, I remind myself very well at the end of winter falling again in your nets, Love.
This time, I felt you more. And in a few weeks, I had literally succeeded in braiding a rope around my neck. A rope connected to my heart and to you too. This guy made me feel special, beautiful and important for a moment. When I crossed him, you gave me this nice and terrible feeling of having butterflies in my heart. I was on my nine cloud.. When I was with him, you made me feel so nervous, Love... And when I was texting him in late nights, you often made me laugh, made me feel light but you also made me feel incredibly sad and empty.
And again, you let me down. I guess you didn't have my back. Because on a Friday night, he let me down. When we were about to share our love, my love. I was broken. Describing this deep scar is not yet possible.
I really thought that my rope was about to kill me. She was way too tight, and my heart dried up so well that I almost flip on the other side of life. I really thought you had abandoned me for good, Love.
But silently I still call you. Since this day. I hope that you will strike one fine day at my door, and that you'll make me forget all the sadness that you brought to me,
Catch you later,
E.L
