Darling Won't You Stay?~ Jonnor Mcball Fanfic

It's Time

James P.O.V

I wanted him to see that I was upset with him, but I felt like he didn't.

It was not my intention to hurt Connor, I just want the boy to know he hurt me in some time of way.

Although I'm here, in my bedroom, and I get out a suitcase that I always keep in the closet for everytime I go on tour with the boys.

But you won't go on tour anymore, thanks to Con.

This one was your last one ever.

I remember all the good times and memories we had with a small smile plastered on my face,  but now I have to leave.

All because of him.

I really want to go back in time and start all over, maybe I could have the balls to tell the blue-eyed boy if I had the chance again.

But you don't have the balls, he doesn't like you and will never, so get the fuck over it!

I couldn't think of this anymore, so I distracted myself with getting everything I needed and packed it in the empty suitcase that was on my mattress.

All the things from my clothes, laptop, blankets, pictures that I had hung up on the walls, and my other personal belongings, I have placed them into the luggage and zipped it up.

Even if the taken memories of photos were in the compartment of items now, I still had the images of when they were taken fresh in my memory as if they were taken yesterday.

Making me get a small smile of happiness of all the times I shared with the couple, especially the Scottish boy.

That suddenly changed when that happiness turned into angry temper, causing me to put the suitcase on the floor, causing it to make a louder noise then it should have.

Why are grinning? Like those moments meant anything to him, cause if they did then he would make you stay.

The voice inside my head was right, so I listened to it and let it take control, having those words pound into my skull until it was engraved. 

And I had that thought all throughout my brain when I told myself it was time to get some sleep, considering Joe was coming here to pick me up, but also because I couldn't take another second here in this house being around him anymore.

So, I took steps forward to the sink of the washroom and cleaned my teeth up with the minty substance, then I quickly did my business.

Finally finished with my things in the bathroom, I undressed from head to toe, throwing on a white t-shirt and just had my boxers on for pajamas.

I was now comfortable in my clothes that I was going to sleep in, and this would be the last time I would sleep in my nice warm comforting mattress, but I still get into it with nothing to cover myself because I already packed up my blankets.

Still, I lay there put, with not feeling cold because I still have that one specific thought in the center of my mind.

Over and over, it keeps going around. Every inch of rage stored in me, resulted in my fist colliding with the pillow that my head was resting on, hitting it multiple times until I stopped.

Hitting a fucking pillow won't fix anything!

Eventually I enter a deep colorless silent sleep and let my eyes shut close, allowing all my feelings and emotions to wash away.