I'm just gonna cut this short because I am beyond tired but I need to talk about this.
On Tuesday, I met my new psychiatrist. She actually listened to me and my mom??? She has doubled my medication dosage and my mom told her about my self harm.
I was over a week clean.
But last night I relapsed because I was so anxious about today that every bad thought and feeling hit me at once.
Today I went to Oxford for a PIP assessment. Because I'm severely Autistic, I get DLA. But once you turn 16, you have to apply for PIP instead, which is stupid.
It was so scary but oh well.
Also, my mom told me that I can ask to be referred to a gender identity clinic if I want to.
I almost cried because she knows I'm transgender, but she never accepted me before.
She has yet to use my correct name and pronouns, but we'll get there.
My boyfriend is going away for a week and I don't know how I'll cope without him. Whenever I have huge episodes and nearly kill myself, he comes over and stops me. Or calls me and stops me. But he won't be able to do any of that this week and I'm scared.
Last shift of work tomorrow. Dying my hair rainbow. I can't wait.
How does one end this I still don't know how ok bye
YOU ARE READING
Diary of the Mentally Ill
Non-FictionTRIGGER WARNING: Basically everything that can trigger a person. I'm 16, male, gay, oh, and I have an endless list of mental illnesses. Follow Lloyd on his journey through recovery. (I will not be sugarcoating anything. This is raw and unedited, pu...
