My Own Treachery

Chapter 27 | The Burrow

I never thought that I'd take so long to fully grasp Occlumency. I had a basic idea of how it worked, prior to practicing it, I never realized how utterly shit I was at actually doing it. The lessons were wretched, tedious, I would find myself, not just physically exhausted but emotionally, whenever my mind would be invaded by the potions master that had been tasked to mentor me through the lessons. I'd often go to bed restless and angry with myself. I usually could pick things up so quickly, being the quick learner I was, this was unusual for me. It had been a week and a half, still I didn't fully grasp it. There were times where I would think I had it, fully block Snape out of my mind, but then the next try, I'd end up with all my hopes dashed.

"Ms.Ravenclaw, get up" Snape ordered, as we were in the hall way, just outside of his office. Figuring that with hardly anyone here, we'd practice with more room. I did as I was told, standing up fully, wanting to go to my bed and cry. He had managed to see some memories of mine. Watching my brother die, my younger days when I went to a private school, the fights with Quirrell and Voldemort, just to name a few. He then pointed his wand at me, entering my mind once again. As he used the magic to charge, to force himself into my memories.

My younger self was sitting in a corner. It was when I went to a private school with my sister. I was in my second year of schooling. The class had done a project involving large colored paper. At the end of the class, the teach was about to throw away the scraps, but I asked her to give them to me instead, because to me they looked liked little animals. She had given me an incredulous expression, before and while she gave me the paper. I had taking the paper into a corner, the other kids, my sister included all were outside on break, while I was inside with the paper. I had both of my hands down holding the scraps down - I didn't even notice the kids that had come back inside, when the teacher had left to go get something for our next lesson. I didn't have time to react when I was shoved down onto the ground, my face hitting the corner of the wall and then the ground, I couldn't do anything. As they went on with the assault, kicking, punching and laughing at me. My younger self was just crouched down, taking it, covering her face.

I was then brought out of the memory, I dropped on the ground panting, sweat falling from my forehead, mixed with a few tears that had escaped. I presumed.

"Ms.Ravenclaw, you must clear your mind. How many times must I say it?" Snape instructed, coolly.

Getting back on my feet, I stared at him, my vision was blurry, as I was trying to hold back the emotions, I simply nodded at him to go again.

"What's wrong you freak? Can't say anything now can you?" It was a memory, I was trying to hang out with my sister and a few of her friends from school. They had managed to over power me and tie me up. Tying a sheet around my mouth, gagging me so I couldn't scream for help. I was crying, confused as to why they, like others from school were bullying me, scared what they would do to me, and wanting my sister to help me, to save me from the wrath that was going to unfold.

"Aww look, the smart, poor little freak is upset." One of the girls taunted, "You go watch the door!" someone had barked, as the same girl had pulled off her heeled shoe. As I was held down and forced not to wiggle she got closer, closer.

I knew what happened next. No. No. You don't get to see that!

I shook my head, I opened my eyes, falling to my knees, hands resting on the ground as I panted, forcing myself back up, readying myself. I nodded. Determined not to let him, nor anyone else see anymore of my youth. I instead thought of air and how empty it was, how clear the atmosphere was.

When he cased the spell again, this time I felt the numbness, it wasn't as far, as deep in my memories, just as basic as it usually was. Where I could control what was seen and sent across. Like during my first year, when I could tell a mental story to Voldemort while he and Quirrell were in my head.

"Good, once again." Snape advised, then the same thing happened. A few more tries, soon enough he couldn't get through. He nodded, "Good, good" He walked over, meeting me in the middle, "It'd seem you have it. Same time tomorrow?" he questioned, walking into his classroom, "Come you'll aid in preparation for the next terms, potions" he ordered.

I followed him, sitting down in the front of the room, "What are this years potions?" I questioned, glad he wasn't questioning any of my memories, that he'd seen.

"Your year will be learning about Flobberworm Mucus, Girding, hair-raising, and wiggenweld potions. You'll also learn the sleeping draught and swelling solution as well in time for exams." He informed me, handing me a box of random ingredients.

I did as I was told, while he was preparing lesson plans, or whatever. We were brought out of our comfortable silence, when Dumbledore walked in with McGonagall.

"Excuse us, Amber, you'll be coming with me, you'll be leaving today" McGonagall stated.

I raised an eyebrow, "Why? Where am I going?" I questioned, confused.

"Yes, why? She has lessons tomorrow still" Snape asked, curious.

"She'll be coming back, she'll be with the Weasleys till the school year starts." McGonagall informed us, simply.

I rolled my eyes, "Sounds pretty stupid and a waste of energy and time" I declared going on before she could argue, "Why leave, when I'm just going to end up coming back here? Why can't I just stay here and continue my lessons? Seems like leaving would waste of time and energy, that could be spent learning here"

"It's rude to question the order of authority" McGonagall sneered, What was her problem?

Dumbledore then walked over, "It's so you may have some fun, before the year starts, not that being mentored by Snape isn't entertaining, but you're at the age where you should socialize more, build bonds with students your age." He then added, "It's best that you take a break" His eyes scanned mine.

Raising an eyebrow I looked at him, "I'll socialize when they're here. I'd rather finish stay and finish, then pack everything up again, only to unpack it all, again. It'd be a waste"

"Stubborn" He then went on, "You'll go young Ravenclaw, you don't need to pack everything, just enough for the few days you'll be there." He stated, looking to McGonagall, "McGonagall will be taking you to meet with Rons father, at the ministry. Now get going, you'll be able to continue your private lessons when you return."