Peggy √ [Editing]

Epilogue

a/n: sorry for taking so long to republish this last chapter. I kept getting distracted.

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Harry Styles
- Two Years Later -

I'd like to think that I live my life with no regrets, but that would be a lie. No one actually can say they've never had regrets because there will always be that one memory that makes you pause. It'll make your heart sink and maybe even make you cry. You'll wish that you could turn back time and redo everything that had led up to that moment, but life doesn't work out that way. It's long, it's cruel, and it constantly seems to remind me of my single biggest regret.

It's been two years and I still haven't gotten over Margaret Faber. I think about how I left her when she was fighting for her life and I feel like crap. I shouldn't have left her side, I should have put my schooling on hold, even if she didn't want me to. She had told me to go and to live my life and I was stupid enough to listen to her.

I don't even know if she's alive.

I had tried to contact her throughout my freshmen year of college but nothing I did worked. Her phone had been discontinued, her email didn't seem to work, and her address definitely changed. I tried doing things the old fashioned way and sent letters, but they'd come back to me. When I came home for winter break, the first thing I had done was go to Meg's home. I knocked on the door and had prepared myself to see her parents, but instead, I was standing in front of an older couple.

I tried going to Francis' home, but it turns out that his parents had moved down to Santa Cruz. One weekend when I was back in school, I had gone to the small surf town and tried looking for him, but I couldn't find him. I felt completely defeated and by then I had come to the conclusion that Meg had died. Why else would her family have moved? Why else would Francis move? It hurts that the families didn't try and contact me, but they must have been angry with me for leaving when I could have stayed.

Now, I'm beginning my junior year of college and I'm not closer to getting over Meg. I'm living in the apartment we would have shared. The room that would have been hers is still empty; I haven't leased it out to someone. Even though she's dead, there's a small part of me that's holding out hope that she's somehow lived. I know how pathetic it sounds, me being hung up on a person I haven't seen in two years, but I loved her so much. I still do, and no matter how hard I've tried to move on, no girl has ever been able to surpass Margaret Faber. She was the epitome of perfection and I had allowed her to slip through my fingers. I will never forgive myself for that.

I know that she'd want me to move on, but I can't help but feel as if I won't ever be as happy as I was with her with anyone else. Her soul was so gentle, so perfect. Everything she did was with grace, and she was always so kind, even to people who were so mean to her. She had a heart of gold and she never deserved the pain that she experienced. No one does and it breaks my heart. I wish I could have been with her, I wish I could have held her one last time, tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.

I was in love with her for years, ever since we were paired to do that stupid project. I was completely enthralled by her from the second she introduced herself. I hated how I couldn't pluck up the courage to talk to her more throughout the years, and that I never knew that Peggy was a cruel nickname. Every time I asked her to help me with math, I had hoped that something would just click and we'd magically end up dating. I was always staring at her, barely paying attention to what she was trying to teach me. I knew that annoyed her but I couldn't help it. I just had to admire her beauty because no one else was doing it.

I'm glad that I had finally plucked up the courage to just be her friend. When we had first kissed, I swear I had never been happier. That was until I told her that I loved her and she told me that she loved me. That night will always be special to me, and wish I had been able to ravish her more, especially in the way she deserved. I wish I could have more closure but I don't deserve that luxury. I never will, and it's because I left her.

I push back the bitterness I feel and force myself to get off my couch. I have to go to practice today, even though that's the last thing I want to do. This one is particularly important because we're meeting the new players. The term won't start for a few more weeks, and I honestly hate it. I don't like soccer as much as I used to, but I have to keep doing it if I want to stay at Stanford.

"You're late, Styles," Coach says as I rush out of the locker room. I roll my eyes at him before going to the others. I easily pick out the newbies.

"Aye, Harold," Niall says as he throws his arm around my shoulder. "Me 'n the boys were planning on getting a few pints, want to join?"

"You know that beer makes me gain weight like no other," I scoff as I gently push him away. "But I guess I'll join, only so I can make sure that you don't do anything stupid," I add, causing the others to laugh. The first practice goes really well and I'm in a much better mood as I leave with Niall to go toss a football in the park.

"So, how are you doing with the whole moving on thing?" Niall asks as he tosses the football over to me.

"It's not going well," I say. He knows everything that's going on with me, especially with Meg. I was incredibly relieved to find out that he was going to Stanford. It was good to be reunited with him and despite not seeing each other for years, we were able to go back to the way things were.

"I wish I could have met this girl," Niall says, easily catching the football when I throw it at him. "The girl that rocked Harry Styles' world..."

"I wish I could have said goodbye."

"You know she wouldn't have wanted you to be sad, Harry. She'd have wanted you to-"

"Move on, I know," I interrupt as I catch the football and just sit down. Niall slowly sits beside me and he sighs quietly. Before he can say anything, I hear a laugh somewhere in the distance, causing my head to snap up.

"What's wrong?" Niall asks, picking up on my rather sudden mood change.

"Niall, I'm really really sorry about this but I need to go," I say, standing. His eyes widen before he quickly scrambles up.

"You've been acting pretty fucking weird lately so I'm going to follow you," he says, clearing his throat. "And are you going to--" I cut him off by covering his mouth when I hear the laugh again. "Get your filthy hands off me," Niall says against my hand.

"Sorry, I just needed you to be quiet for a second," I say, moving away. "It's that laugh. I've heard it before," I add as I begin to get antsy. Niall gives me a weird look but doesn't question me as I run off, desperately trying to find the source of the noise.

We spend at least twenty minutes doing this and during that time, Niall doesn't complain. He seems to sense how important this is to me so he's going along with all of this. I'm beginning to lose hope and just as I stop to catch my breath, I hear the laugh again. This time, it's much closer than before and I turn around frantically. There's a moment where I think that I've lost my mind, but then it happens.

Walking into view is the most beautiful girl I have ever and will ever see. She looks so much better than the last time I saw her. Her hair's grown to her shoulders, her weight is back, but more importantly, she's smiling. My heart is racing wildly as I take a small step towards her and I see that Francis is walking beside her. He's the first to notice me and I see him grin and he taps her shoulder. Seconds later, I see her gaze turn to me and I swear my heart nearly stopped then and there.

She smiles, and I smile and together, we laugh.

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