I Didn't Want to Hurt You (Ashriel)

I'm Sorry

I was walking downtown with my best friend, Ash, like we normally did. We would always go to this local coffee shop that I don't even remember the name of. 

We met there, but probably in the most plotted way possible. It seemed like we were in a bad romance novel or something.

Anyhoo, we ran into each other in the process of getting kicked out of the coffee shop because we both stayed after hours reading. She said she'd walk me home since it was cold outside in this time of year, also my favorite, and she's been doing that ever since.

Every now and then I'd ask her to come over to my place and have a sleep over, and those days are always the best.

I realized I needed after she got sick, and didn't show up to the coffee shop for a week. I had never asked to go to her house, and she never asked me to come to hers, so I didn't even know where she lived!

I was stupid not to ask her, that, in all honesty, was something I regret.

She came back after that week and I was relieved that she was okay. My mind went to every bad situation she could've gotten into before she had time to realize she was sick.

Anyways, after about seven months of this routine happening where she would take me home, I started to realize I had feelings for her. I knew I couldn't, though, I can't do that; It would hurt her too much.

Most people in this world, even when falling in love, don't have to worry about what their partners feel, even with the way the world works! They don't physically hurt. Not like me, anyways.

But still, I couldn't fall for her, she would have to deal with so much bullshit that someone so perfect should never have to deal with. 

That was, until the day that all changed.

I had made a barrier around my feelings for her, just in case somehow she managed to fall for me. I tricked myself, and apparently the universe, into believing I didn't love her. Which was almost the death of me.

We were walking back from the coffee shop, just like usual, when she said something that made me panic a little.

"Hey, I was wondering, do you maybe wanna go out sometime?"

"U-uh, no not really," I said shyly.

"It's cool if you don't want to. I just thought there was something here . . ."

"I like you and all, but I don't wanna hurt you."

She had looked at me confused, almost as if she forgot about the laws of the world.

"You could never hurt me . . ." and she took a break, as if seeking the words she was looking for, before finishing, "I love you too much for you to hurt me." 

I thought I was crazy when I heard her say that, along with the pink that'd spread across her face.

I let my barrier down. 

The world finally realized what I'd been so desperately trying to hide. Now, I can feel all the pain she feels, and she can feel mine.

Oh no, no, no. NO!

She stopped walking as she realized I loved her, too. It takes a moment for the pain to hit, but it's not much pain at all.

I can see her face try and disguise the pain, but I could tell her thoughts were trying to escape as well.

"Wh-why did you do this to yourself?"

She sounded more upset about the fact that I had done this more than the fact that she was the one feeling the pain.

I stared at her. She looked so heartbroken. 

Her love is a monster and she doesn't even know it, how could she ever love me?

It takes her a few seconds to realize why she felt the way she did. First, I could see she realized I actually did love her when she jumped back a little. I could see her prepare for whatever might rush over her, but as it hit her with full strength, she couldn't think in that moment.

I look up at her, tears blurred my vision and made it harder to talk. "I-I didn't want to hurt you. I-I just didn't want to h-hurt you," I said, breaking down into a full sob.

I was falling, falling to the ground as if in defeat, but she caught me. Through the pain and trauma she just went through, she caught my arms and wrapped hers around my body, picking me up off the ground for a hug.

She set me back down on the pavement, still hugging me, just bending over slightly. She didn't let go until I heard her whisper, "We'll get through the pain together, I promise."

I thought about this and couldn't choose people to use for it, so I just went to Ashriel because it makes more sense with the plot line.
*cough* Ariel I'm SORRY YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT PAIN
*shoves Ash in her direction*
IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE, TAKE THIS