Forgiven But Not Forgotten

Chapter 1: News

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Hello! Before we begin the story, I want to let you know that this is my first story. I've never done this before so please bear with me. I would love any feedback and suggestions you guys have for me! Also let me know if you want me to continue with this story or if there are any other Hamilton story ideas you want me to write about!

Thanks!

- HamDotA

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 Alexander knocked on John's door. "John?" He felt sick to his stomach. "It's me, Alex. May I come in?"

"It's unlocked," said a voice from inside. John was laying on his couch scrolling through his Instagram, looking at the pictures of him and Alexander together that he never deleted, even after they broke up. It really was a rough time for John. He didn't eat a lot, he spent days upon days in bed, and didn't do much except for shop online from his couch. They eventually made up as friends, but for John it would never be the same...

Alexander opened the door and walked inside. His heart was beating out of his chest. What was he going to say? Was he going to be happy for him? Why wouldn't he be? He was Alex's best friend. He was sure he had gotten over the past. It had been four years...

"So, what's up?" John sat up and stretched. "Come to steal my food and mooch off my Wi-Fi for your article?" He smiled lightly at him. Alex always had to come over and use John's Wi-Fi. The internet at Alex's apartment was so slow because he couldn't afford a better router.

"No," Alex replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just came here to talk to you."

"Don't I feel special," Laurens patted the spot on the couch next to him. "What's on your mind?"

Alexander sat down next to his friend. "I have some news to share with you..." He looked nervous, uneasy.

"News? What kind of news?" John looked at his friend curiously. "It must be big, because I've never seen you struggle with your words before."

Alexander got up quickly. "I... um..." he was stuttering. Trying to find the right words. "I'm getting married."

John's head shot up. "I'm sorry what?" He couldn't believe what he had just heard, even though it was echoing around his head. Married.

Alexander paced slowly. "I'm getting married in a month. Her name is Elizabeth Schuyler. We went to college together, she was in our—"

"Our philosophy class," he said, interrupting his friend. " I know, you kept complaining about how she was a teacher's pet." He stood up abruptly, moving to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His mouth had suddenly gone dry.

Alex was confused at Laurens' cold attitude. Why was he being so closed off suddenly? Shouldn't he be happy for him? Alex had been talking about wanting to get married for years now. He followed him into the kitchen.

Laurens heard Alex follow him and he sighed. He was angry at himself for believing... Nevermind. It all seemed so stupid and unrealistic now. "How long have you been together?"

Alex fiddled with his grey sweatshirt. "About a year now..."

"A year?" John turned to face him. "A year? That's it? You are marrying a chick you've only dated for a year?" He was fuming and he wasn't sure why.

"Woah, John, calm down," Alex put his hands up in defense. "I really love her, John, and she loves me. Isn't that enough?" He was extremely confused about John's sudden shift of behavior.

"A year isn't a very long time to be with someone, Alexander," John looked at the smaller man with whom he had dated for four years.

Alex looked down at his feet, realizing now what his dear friend, John Laurens, was so upset about. He now understood what John was seeing from his perspective: a man that dated him for four years without speaking about the possibility of marriage, now wants to tie the knot with a girl he had only dated for twelve months. He had no response.

"Looks like the man of many words is speechless," John's tone was cold, accusatory.

"John, please," Alexander looked up, his eyes full of hurt, but so were the pair looking straight back at him. "Don't make this about us..."

John shook his head and looked at the floor, chuckling in disgust, before looking back at his friend. "It's never been about 'us'. It's always been about you," he said before chuckling again. "You just don't get it. I waited years for you to propose." He shakes his head. "No, not even that. I waited years for you to just bring up the possibility of marriage." He looks down. "I waited years for you to say you loved me enough to spend the rest of your life with me..."

Alex shifted his weight between his feet, uncomfortable as he watched tears fall down his friend's cheek. He wasn't sure what to say, if he should say anything.

"Laurens, I—" he began, but his words were cut off by John's hand, raised to stop their flow.

"Go," Laurens turned away to face the kitchen cupboards, his hands gripping the sink with white knuckles as he held back a heart-wrenching sob.

"Please—"

"Go!" John almost screamed at Alex, doing anything to prevent his cries of pain to escape his chest.

Alex stood there a second, wanting to say something, anything to erase his friends suffering. But, he knew he couldn't. He could never repair the damage he had done. He slowly turned away and silently slipped out the door, closing it behind him before walking away. He was only a few yards down the sidewalk before he heard John's heartbroken scream pierce through the cold evening air.