Face the Odds

Chapter 11: Run

Marie stared at the letter again, re-reading Mary's words to John with an unreadable expression.

'My darling,' Mary had written, 'I need to tell you this because you mustn't hate me for going away. I gave myself permission to have an ordinary life. I'm not running, I promise you that, I just need to do this in my own way. But I don't want you and Sherlock hanging off my gun arm, and I don't want to drag Marie back into a world she so deservedly left behind. I'm sorry, my love. I know you'll try to find me but there is no point. Every move is random and not even Sherlock Holmes can anticipate the roll of a dice. I need to move the target far, far away from you and Rosie, and then I'll come back, my darling. I swear I will.'

"So, she's done it." Marie sighed, handing the note back to John. "She's gone off on her own."

"And she thinks she'll be untraceable by being unpredictable." John muttered, and Sherlock hummed.

"Well, she's wrong there." He commented, almost absently as he stared off into space thoughtfully, and John glared at him while Marie winced.

"This isn't just some, some distraction, Sherlock!" John snapped at his friend.

Sherlock looked up in surprise while John ranted: "This is my wife, and she's out there, doing God knows what, while this, this psychopath is hunting her!"

"I know." Sherlock started, trying to calm the other man down as he realized John's misunderstanding.

But John steamrolled over him as agitation and worry consumed him: "Oh, you know, do you? Well, that's a surprise, isn't it, the great Sherlock Holmes knowing!"

"John." Sherlock frowned, but John went on: "It must be nice, being able to stay so 'above it all', without the 'distractions' of emotions."

"John-" Sherlock tried to interject again, but John carried on over him: "Yeah, it's easy for you, isn't it? It's not your wife that's on the run!"

John shouted the last words, exploding his anger and anguish, and Sherlock finally snapped, just as heatedly: "No, but it could be!"

John blinked, falling silent at last as Sherlock huffed out a breath, taking a deep one in as he forced himself to calm down again. Marie watched them with worried green eyes as John stayed quiet while Sherlock repeated in a much calmer, more neutral tone: "I know what that feels like."

His eyes flickered over to Marie as he reminded John softly: "To have your wife run for her life, to have her facing dangers, to know she's alone in that... and to not be there. To not know if she's all right."

John glanced between his friends as Marie reminded Sherlock pointedly: "That was your own fault for not even texting me for the two years you were gone."

"Details." Sherlock dismissed, though his blue eyes did soften slightly in apology. Again.

Marie nodded, while Sherlock turned back to John, saying calmly: "So I do understand and I can sympathize, despite what you might think."

John lowered his eyes at the subtle jab at his own harsh accusations, which had been born of frustration and worry, but Sherlock moved on without further ado: "But trust me: we will find her."

"But why, Sherlock?" John asked at last, glancing back down at the letter in his hand. "Why did this, this Ajay come back? Why now?"

"You can never outrun your past."

It was Marie who answered, explaining as confusion crossed John's face: "It comes back. It will always comes back – it's the one constant for people like me and Mary."