The Chronicles of Unrequited Love

The Start of the Stupid Idea

Like every teenage girl out there, there's almost always a crush. Along with having that crush, there's a whole package that comes with it.

Things such as the constant daydreaming, the heart stopping, the breath that gets taken away, the butterflies, the shyness, etc, etc.

But the worst of all is the hope you cling on to. It's not a secret that the girl with the crush has amazing, fantastical, heart dropping illusions with the guy who has stolen her heart without even knowing.

The saddest part of it all is that in majority of these scenarios, it never becomes a reality. All because we don't have the guts to say what we feel or we find ourselves part of the quiet crowd and don't get noticed. Either that, or they are way out of our league...

Sometimes, if we are lucky enough, we would get noticed and possibly become friends with them or even have the prayers we sent answered and end up with them. I mean life does work in mysterious ways!

You see,I've become a victim of the mysterious ways of life. Not only that, but it seems to have continued for some reason. From my somewhat experience, I can clearly tell you that the way of 'the works' is very confusing. It makes me want to tear out my hair and cry till I no longer am in existence.

Ever since the day he came into the existence in my life, there has been a roller coaster of feelings. From hate, to tolerance, to what can somewhat be called love. If it's even considered that...

And it all started ever since I came into contact with his best friend, Edward. I remember I met him on my first day at Cedar Hill Middle...
Yeah, this story goes way back...

Edward was my very first crush in this new environment that I happened to stumble in. Here's the thing, I was so infatuated with the dark-haired boy who was different than everybody else that I didn't notice the obnoxious soccer loving brunette excuse of a best friend.

Actually, I did notice him, how could one not? His cockiness is enough to withstand basically everyone and everything. Not only that but his ego stood taller than the Empire State, making me develop a small tinge of hatred. Only to have it increase when I found out the type of person he was.

He was, in my opinion, the worst of the worst. In my opinion, back in the time, worser than a player. Sure he would resemble them but he only went out with girls due to a bet. Sadly, one of my closest friends was a victim of his foolishness.

When I found that out, I made an oath to myself to forever hate him and to never be drawn to him. I mean why would that happen anyway, I strongly dislike egotistical, uptight people. It would be easy to keep my promise to myself right?

After a year and a half, the ways of life took into effect. It's quite funny because I thought I wasn't worthy enough of life changes. The funny thing about life is that it works in odd ways; it doesn't care who you are or what you've done, in the end, it's bound to change your life, good or bad. At the time, I didn't know if my change was good or bad, all I knew is that I enjoyed the change without a care...

Time can change many things. Even in a short or long span, it can cause an immense change.

   In around two to three years, he changed. He was no longer the obnoxious immature boy who didn't know better in middle school. He magically grew out of his immature player ways and turned into a kind hearted guy with his tinge of cockiness.

In a time span of a year and a half, I became closer to him. Not only that, but I started to catch feelings for him. And the fact that Edward was no longer in the picture, made it much easier just to focus on him and only him.

  So much for that one oath I swore to keep...

As I conclude my first year at Cedar Hill High and lay on my bed to recap all the small moments, I can't help but see how much has changed and how we have, in a way, became 'close'. My feelings for him became stronger than the day before, and the day before that and the week before that, and the year before that. I never want to loose the contact of it all. I wanted to forever cherish the wonderful, small, simplicity of the moments shared.

The 'stupid' thought of writing everything down came into mind. The simple sweet love song playing in the background only pushing my intentions a bit farther. It lead to me thinking that maybe on the last day we would ever see each other, I would give him the journal that lead simple, easy access to my mind and heart.

I stared at the white popcorn ceiling while laying in the turquoise room diagonally on my bed covering the blush that was creeping up as I came into realization of something.

I have fallen in love with the idiotic, obnoxious boy who had somehow managed to creep into my mind every now and then. The one who has managed to make my tummy twirl and lips curl at the mere mention of his name and sight of his smile...

The one and only baseball loving guy...

Calum Evans...