What's The Difference?

1; Austin

Being in the hospital for a month, seeing the same faces, having the same routine, and having doctors ask you the same questions everyday like; "Do you use any drugs or drink alcohol? ", "Are you sexually active?", my all time favorite, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" and lastly "Why are you here?". 

To every doctor that asked I was always truthful which meant my answers all went something like this, "No.", "Yes.", "No.", and "I'm here because I told my friend that I wanted to kill myself and he was really worried about me so he called the cops and Firefighters, and ambulance, and EMS showed up at my house at 2 A.M., then EMS brought me here and I voluntarily admitted myself because know I need help."

 Follow up questions from the doctor proceeded from there. But now I am out of that routine, I was released yesterday. I won't talk to my parents about anything because they took me out of the place that was giving me help for their own selfish reasons, yes it seems like I hated that hospital and I did at times but they helped me and I still had another month to go. 

By my parents taking me out of the hospital I feel like I've relapsed back into loneliness. I'm not allowed to have my phone so I can't talk to friends or anyone right now. My mom is just trying to punish me for being depressed, she's done this before and that's why I don't talk to her about anything. 

Maybe I should've just killed myself the first time I threatened to, 2 years ago. 

*Later*

At about 7 A.M. on a Saturday morning I hear a knock on my door and a familiar voice, "Hey Stella, I'm cooking eggs would you like any?" In a very mumbled groan I replied, "No Dad! I just want to sleep." I then rolled over and fell back to sleep. 

The next time I woke up was around 10, switching from my futon to the reclining chair and opening up my computer. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I stay on the computer watching Netflix; the most human interaction I get is my Dad talking to me through my door. I don't really eat or have the motivation to get up and go places, it's not like I can go anywhere anyway. 

Wasting away my summer on the computer, isolated in my room with the occasional knock on my door, only to be my Dad asking me a question. I wanted so badly to be able to talk to my friends or at least just the one that had saved my life and called the cops, Luke. Flashbacks of that night haunt me and I wish I could just change it all. 

Before I knew it the sun was beginning to set and it was already 4. I got up to go to the bathroom and after, as I was walking out I heard the most amazing thing, a new voice. It took my brain only a few seconds to realize that, the voice matched my friend Drew's voice. My heart began to race, I didn't know what to do, I looked awful mainly because I hadn't showered in 3 days. I quickly went to my room, tossed my hair into the best messy bun I could muster, threw on a bra and changed my shirt. I began running from my room towards the steps but then stopped, calmed myself down and walked briskly down the steps and turned into the kitchen not even acknowledging his presence at the doorway, though my dad was talking to him. I got a water from the fridge and when I turned around and walked back towards them and realized it wasn't Drew but someone with an almost identical voice. 

With my heart disappointed, it's beats began to go back to normal and I continued my footsteps towards the steps again until they were stopped by "Hey girl!" I lifted my head and looked up at the boy with dark curly hair, blue eyes and open arms wanting to hug me. I then knew who this person that sounded so much like Drew was. His name is Austin, one of my Dad's friends, about 24 years old and one I've had a crush on since I was 12. I sat down my water and walked over to him putting my arms around his neck while his were around my waist picking me up and I then wrapped my legs around his waist giving him a big monkey hug. I felt like we only hugged for a few seconds before he put me down when I know it was closer to a minute.