Cold. Why is it so cold? Why are everyone's hearts so ruthless and cold? I ponder the question while beside a cold, wet building with a killer between my lips. I inhale the nicotine filled cigarette then puff a ring of smoke. I think about how the devil works. Then I remember, he works inside our heads. Why can't God think that way? I have no idea.
I look over and watch the world walk by though it's night time. I wonder what they think as they walk by me. I see a man with an afro and glasses. He's seems like a techy sorta guy. I see a girl with him she had long black hair with a little eyeliner and glasses. They're probably engaged since I see a ring on her finger and they're holding hands. Or she's having an affair and he doesn't give a damn which is stupid because they're out in public.
I see some men across the street at the bar eyeing some sluts walking by them with tight club dresses that show too much. They're acting like they're superior but we all know that under all the makeup and boob/butt jobs they are just like everyone else. The men of course are wolf-whistling and I notice one is about to do a pick-up on one of the skanks. He's rubbing his hands together while licking his lips. He does the line and girl slaps him across the face. Either it was a bad pick-up line or they actually have some self respect.
I look to my left and see a browned-eyed, brunette walk towards me. She's wearing all black but who says she's goth? Not me. I know that for a fact.
"Hello," she says discreetly.
"Hey," is all I say back.
"You want some drugs or something? I ask.
"Shut up," she says smiling. I shrug my shoulders.
"You judging more people?" she asks while lighting a tobacco stick.
"You know it," I tell her.
"Ya know it's midnight? We should go to the park," she suggests.
"Eh I don't know. I kinda like judging people," I speak.
"Come on Susanna. You can judge people there," Delaney says. I know she's right but I'm stubborn. "Besides if you don't wanna judge then you can get high."
"Fine whatever," I agree. I know I said I was stubborn but I was bored watching people here so we start walking. We arrive at the park. The park is a neglected public pool that we changed into a skate rink. I think the reason we adopted it was because most of us felt like rejects. You'll find most adolescents there either getting high or just skating. Once we get over the gates that's exactly what we find. I decide to not go on a trip and just sit at the edge of the rink. As I look around I see Jes walking over to me from where most of the high people are. He looks a little high himself.
"Hey...you single?" he asks slowly.
"Jesse, you're either high as fuck or wasted," I say not looking at him.
"Whoa, how do you know my name?" he asks confused.
"Because I've known you since the beginning of time," I say in a 'duh' tone.
"Are you serious?! I'm so sorry I don't remember you," he's says in a panic. That's the thing about Jes, even though most of the time he's an idiot, he's always puts others in front of him. He's so respectful.
"Maybe you don't recognize me because you haven't even seen my face," I say slowly turning around. He looks at me with an 'ohhh' expression and then says, "Ohhh, hey Susanna." I sit back down on the edge.
"Hey."
"How's it buzzin?" he asks sitting down next to me.
"Fine I guess?"
"That's great," he says watching the skaters.
"Do you think if I were to fall off this edge I would die?" I ask.
"You could, but I don't think you would. If you were a child you probably would," he states in a trance. There's another thing about Jesse, he doesn't act concerned when I say this. He would for any other person except me. Don't get me wrong, he is concerned but he doesn't show it. He knows that I hate when people show their concern towards me. I hate it because I know they aren't actually concerned they just want to act like a 'good citizen'.
Another reason I would kill myself.
I wouldn't do it right here right now. I wouldn't want anyone blaming themselves for my death. If I did fall off this edge and die people would blame Jes. They would say he pushed me because we were arguing and he's 'unstable.' I would also never do it with a person in the same building because they would try to save me. If I kill myself it's for a solid reason. Either the voices got to loud and I cut to deep or something happened and I want to get out this world. Unfortunately others don't understand and they'll try to stop me.
"Sucks to suck," I say dissappointedly.
"Yeah, I guess." We're both thinking so we're kind of zoned out but still talking.
"Guys! Wake Up!" Delaney says from behind us.
"Sorry what?" Jes turns around.
"We're going on an adventure," she says excitedly.
I turn around, "With who and where?"
"You know the woods out bout a half a mile from here and just you, me, Jesse, and Miles."
"Depends on what were doing," I say with a smirk.
"We're just going on an adventure, hiking and stuff ya know?"
"I'm in," Jes puts his hands up in defeat.
"That's cause you're high and don't understand anything right now," I speak scolding him.
"Hahahah well, I mean, did you know alpacas only defense is their spit?" he giggles.
"Why is now the time to actually act high?" Delaney questions.
"I don't know. I'm kind of crazed. Wait- what does crazed mean again?" Jes asks toally confused.
"God why do I hang around you?" I ask mentally slapping myself.
"Ohhhhhh in this life of weed will I suceeeeeeeeed? Ohhhhhhh willl I suceeeed?" Jesse sings out of key.
"Dammit Jesse you obviously won't if you're smoking it!" Delaney states.
"Let's just go before the cops come," I suggest.
"I'll go get Miles," Delaney yells already running away.
"Ok. So I guess I have to clean up the mess," I say to myself gesturing to Jes. I pick him up while he looks me dead in the eye. He strokes the side of my face moving the hair our of my face.
I look at him weirdly and question, "What're you doing?"
"Susanna you- you're- you have an eye booger," he says like he's falling in love.
"Oh," I wipe my eye, "well let's get a move on." We walk over to the inhabitants around a campfire trying to live up to Bob Marley. We find Delaney and Miles and of course M is also high as a hot air balloon.
"BABYYYYY I love you so much!!!" Miles comes running to me.
"You don't love me you idiot," I push him away.
"Well, you don't have to be a Debby-Downer," Miles says cowering back to Laney.
"Apparently I do when everyone's high," I say lighting another cig. I inhale the toxicness of the smoke. They say every cigarette takes a day from your life. My goal is 700.
We start heading behind the pool where the woods are cause apparently, We're going on an Adveture!
So I don't know why but I decided to write a story about how my life will be when I'm 19 because ya know...why not? Anyways I'm gonna go watch The Breakfast Club for the 13th time, or AHS. I love em both. See ya!!
YOU ARE READING
Walls
Teen Fictionjust because someone looks happy doesn't mean they are because even a white flower has a black shadow