true love or nah (completed)

my love funeral

MONDAY(12/15/12) MY LOVE FUNERAL

TODAY IS G FUNERAL I WAS VERY SAD I FELT LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT THAT HE DIED. I FEEL LIKE HIS FAMILY HATES ME G WAS MY EVERYTHING Y DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED WHEN I GET IN 12 GRADE YYYY (STARTS CRYING) SO THE FUNERAL STARTED AND THEY SAT ME IN THE FRONT SINCE HE WAS MY BF I WAS BASICALLY A WIDOW BUT WE WERENT MARRIED WELL WE WERE ENGAGE DO THAT COUNT? SO I SAT STRAIGHT IN THE FRONT REALLY I WANTED TO SIT IN THE BACK ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK. BUT NO I HAD TO SIT WITH MS.WALKINS (HIS MOMMA) N DIDNT WANT TO SIT BESIDE HER SHE WAS EXTRA TALKIN BOUT MY BABY Y LORD HE DIDNT DO NOTHIN YYY LORRD  AND SHE STARTED HOLDING ME THATS THE WEIRD PART N I STARTED CRYING ALL IK MY BRO AND SIS WAS THERE HOLDING ME I COULDNT TAKE IT MY LOVE WAS GONE IT JUST HIT ME I WONT BE ABLE TO RIDE WITH HIM TO SCHOOL PICK ON J.R WITH HIM NOTHIN THE ONLY THING I WILL HAVE THAT LASTED IS HIS CHILD YEAH I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM BUT I WAS SCARED MY BROTHER KNOW. SEE MY BROTHER TAKES CARE OF US BC MY MOM DIED AND MY DAD DONT CLAIM US HE SAID OUR MOM WAS A WHORE SO WE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE HIS. BUT ANYWAYS I HAVE HIS BABY IN MY STOMACH I AM 3 MONTHS N IM NOT SHOWING YET THEY SED ILL START SHOWING WHEN IM 4 MONTHS BUT MS.WALKINS DOESNT KNOW IM SCARED TO TELL HER WHAT IF SHE DONT BELIEVE ME. SO WE HAD TO GO UP TO SEE BODY I DIDNT WANT TO DO THAT I CANT SO I WENT UP THEIR WITH MS.WALKINS AND J.R AND WE ALL STARTED CRYIN WELL J.R. WASNT CRYIN THAT HARD BUT I WAS LOOKIN MY LOVE FIANCE AND FATHER OF MY CHILD LIFELESS AS EVER. HES GONE AND THEN I STARTED CRYING AGAIN BUT THIS TIME I WAS TOO MUCH FOR MS.WALKINS SHE STARTED CRYIN THEY TOOK ME OUT BACK AND EVERYBODY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY THEY DIDNT UNDERSTAND MY PAIN HE WAS MY EVERYTHING MY TRUE LOVE. HIS SISTER LOOKED AT ME AND SHE WAS TALKIN BOUT YEAH ITS ALL HER FAULT G IS GONE MAMA SHE GOT HIM KILLED BEING A THOT. THATS WHEN I WENT CRAZY I WENT CHARGIN AT HER BUT J.R LOOK AND STARTED RUNNIN AT ME AND PICKED ME UP HE SED BABY SIS U CANT UR CARRYIN A BABY BUT THE THING THAT WAS BAD WAS HE SED IT REAL LOUD AND MS.WALKINS STARTED GOIN CRAZY CRYING FORREAL SHE SED OH LORD IMA BE A GMA AND THE BABY FATHER AINT HERE NO MORE OH LORD WHY ME (SHE FAINTS). REALLY J.R REALLY NOW THE WHOLE FAM GONNA LOOK AT ME IM STUPID. AFTER THE FUNERAL WE WENT TO HER HOUSE I DIDNT WANT TO IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT HIS ROOM THE ROOM WE MADE OUR CHILD IN. I FELT TENSION ON MY RIGHT SIDE OF MY FACE BY MS.WALKINS SHE LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS DARLIN CAN U COME TALK TO ME REAL QUICK. ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS YES MAAM. WHEN I WENT TO TALK TO HER SHE ASK ME Y DIDNT I TELL HER ABOUT THE BABY. I TOLD HER I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM ON FRIDAY BUT HE UK GONE, I WIPE MY TEARS TRYIN TO STAY COMPOSED. SHE TOLD ME SHE UNDERSTAND  BUT I COULD HAVE TOLD HER IM LIKE AN ANOTHER DAUGHTER TO HER. I SMILED AND SED THANKS MAMA ILY. SHE MADE ME SMILED BUT THEN G SIS LORD IK IM NOT SUPPOSED TO HATE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING SERIOUS I CANT STAND HER. SHE CAME WITH A STANK LOOK ON HER FACE TALKIN BOUT Y IM SMILIN. I TOLD THAT THANG BC HER MOM IS HAPPY IM HAVING A BABY BY HER BROTHER BUT SHE SED IT PROBABLY AINT HIS LIKE REALLY WAS U THERE WHEN I NVM IM NOT GONNA SAY NOTHIN THATS OUR BUSINESS. AFTER THE HOUSE WARMIN FOR BAE I WENT HOME. I WENT TO SLEEP BC THE NEXT DAY I HAD TO GO TO SCHOOL. IM GONNA HATE THAT PLACE NOW IMA HAVE TO DRIVE MY CAR -_-.  GN LOVE ILY N LIL ONE INSIDE ME I WAS SLEEP FORREAL UNTIL I HAD A NIGHTMARE.

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