Javed nam hai mera

Chapter 8

- Khushi, what is happening between you two? Why do you spend so much time together! Why does he keeps accompany you everywhere you go?

- Arnav-ji, I don't understand what are you implying?! He's your best friend and I'm your wife! You should trust us!

- How can I trust you if Jev is not even trying to hide his affection for you? There's no smoke without fire!

… That was a conversation Anjali would never want to overhear. That was too much to bear - her Chote was inserted in one more heart-breaking scandal and she could not handle it now…

Anjali fled to the terrace for a fresh air and some peace of mind… and ran into Javed practically colliding with his broad chest. Great! That was exactly the person she needed now!

Javed looked genuinely worried:

- Anjali-ji, what has happen? Why are you crying? Has anyone hurt you?

She didn't know she was crying till he said it. But the way he phrased his fake concern… Anjali screamed:

- Not me! You've hurt Chote! How could you do it?! You're supposed to be his friend!

Javed looked startled by this accusation and made a compulsive movement to let go of Anjali to go find Arnav and clear this out with him. But Anjali was almost hysterical so he decided it would be best to calm her down first. Javed tried soothing her:

- It's OK, Anjali-ji, there's nothing to worry about. I will never do anything to hurt Arnav or anyone in this family, no need for you to be so upset…

- Oh, really? Then why do you keep following Khushi-ji around with puppy eyes? You think Chote wouldn't notice it? They are fighting because of you now! Chote thinks that Khushi-ji is falling for you cheap seduction tricks! He's hurting!

Javed's jaw dropped in disbelief and he whispered:

- They are fighting? Over this? I thought they've sorted it out the last time…

Anjali enquired harshly:

- Last time? You were aware that they are fighting over you and you keep doing it to them? Why?!

Javed posture tightened and he hissed through clenched teeth:

- I'm not doing anything anymore! I never meant for this to go this way… I never wanted Arnav's jealousy… And I have no feelings other than friendly towards Khushi-ji! Period!

Anjali kept pressing her point:

- Than why are you always around playing ? Why do you keep trying to charm her?

And then Javed blasted. His chest rose with deep breathing and his hands came up to grab Anjali's shoulders. Javed shook her:

- Why do you always have to be so oblivious to everything around you? What does it take to make you see?!

- See what? What are you talking about?!

- You! I'm talking about you! I wasn't following KHUSHI, wasn't trying to charm HER! It was all you! Because of you! For you! Dammit!

Javed let go of Anjali abruptly and stepped away. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, breathing heavily, watching everywhere around to avoid looking at Anjali.

Her expression was confused, lost…

- But… why?

Javed's answer was bitter:

- Oh, and the "why" isn't obvious to you too?

He stepped half a step closer to Anjali and lowered his head to look her in the eyes:

- Because I love you. Loved you ever since I've met you… Eight years two month and seventeen days…

Anjali stumbled with reply:

- But… but… I… You don't even know me! We've never spoken out of common courtesy small talks!

Javed shook his head in disagreement and then looked at Anjali again… tenderly, adoringly…

- Your favourite colours are deep blue and golden, your favourite book is "Pride and Prejudice", your favourite spice is saffron, and your favourite part of the day is sunrise…

He stopped to catch his breath but rushed to continue before Anjali could interrupt him:

- You sent birthday cards to your school teachers… You feed pigeons on a terrace… You hate flying but you're sea-sick so you have no other option because train trips would take too long…

Anjali was blinking trying to understand if this was really happening and Javed kept narrating her character:

- Sometimes you have nightmares and you get out of bed to drink some warm milk… You don't think you are beautiful because of your bad foot and that is why you have so much jewellery… Sometimes you talk to yourself…

This was when Anjali has finally found her voice to speak:

- But you never even liked me!

- Anjali! - exclaimed Javed in despair, - what was I supposed to do? When we've first met I was 20-years old student tagging along with your LITTLE brother! Right after the introduction part you've insisted I call you Di because you said I was like a BROTHER to you! Seriously thought? BROTHER?!

- But you've never called me Di… - said Anjali to herself lost in memories.

- Yes, I could never bring myself to lose that tiny hope to be more than just your brother, to be a man beside you… I grew up, I've became somebody to be reckoned with, I am a man now, Anjali! But you never bother to notice any of it! And then…

Javed's voice cracked as he finished his sentence:

- And then you got married. To that man. I've told you not to be naive, told you to be careful about his sudden "love"… and you've exiled me. You've foreboded me to utter one bad word about that man and said that if I couldn't be happy for you I should not inconvenience myself with visiting your family.

Anjali cringed on those memories. Not only because Javed's words were true - now and then - but because she finally understood how blind she was… not only about Shyam - about EVERYTHING!

- Javed-ji, I…

- No, Anjali-ji, - he shook his head in defeat, - no more. I really can't take it any longer, my life is falling apart because I only half-live it and I can't go on like this forever. I should go.

Javed moved past astonished Anjali and disappeared in the house. Echo of his steps spoke volumes to Anjali, things she'd never heard before… "Loves me, loves me… Javed loves me…"